tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-75763494663896775042024-02-19T23:53:50.301-08:00Life Beyond the WindowRebeccahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18175195313375782421noreply@blogger.comBlogger70125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7576349466389677504.post-51118451293838343652015-04-24T10:11:00.003-07:002015-04-27T19:42:31.895-07:00The Once Impossible<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">That feeling you have when you are about to do something you thought was never possible. You know that feeling?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Well that's what is hitting me now. I'm about to get ready for my Nursing Pinning Ceremony. I've completed my undergraduate degree and I will be receiving my <b>Bachelor of Science in Nursing. </b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">If you don't know my story, this doesn't seem like something out of the ordinary or to be placed in the 'impossible' category. And for me 6 years ago, it wasn't. I was a naive first year student who thought nothing other than graduating at 21. But then everything changed. In my fourth, and what was supposed to be my final year of Nursing school, I got sick. So sick that I was almost bed-bound for 9 months with a mysterious disease filled with so much unknown that they eventually gave the umbrella label of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I was out for the count and literally put becoming a nurse - the vocation that God placed on my life on my first trip to Guatemala - in the impossible category. A lot of things were placed in that category and I slowly lost hope. I struggled each day to simply do the basics and to somehow find joy. But Joy was there. It never left. Just had to be found. Like in my name. It's there but you need to look for it. Look in the middle -<i> Rebecca Joy</i>. And so I looked and found. Joy in the robin flying around on a spring morning. Joy in the colour-filled sunrise. Joy in the kind touch of a family member or friend's hand. Joy in His truths. Some days were easier than others to find a peace of this joy but I will tell you that even the smallest of things that I could find that joy in, found Him in, kept me going. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And as many of you know, despite the darkest time of my life filled with question, He never left me. I learned so much about myself, my hopes, my fears, my faith, and my dreams. Priorities held a whole new meaning. And for that time I am honestly grateful. But no, I would never wish it upon anyone. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But this morning as I prepare to get ready for the first of my graduation ceremonies, I do so with a huge smile on my face, immense gratefulness in my heart, and a few tears in my eyes. The last 6 years have truly held some of the highest of highs and lowest of lows. But here I am on the other end of it. Graduating as a Nurse. Walking across that stage today and tomorrow is going to mean so much more than tradition. <i>That walk across the stage is going to be filled with memories, triumphs and extreme praise.</i> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>So here we go!</b> 2015, you are the year. The year of <i>praise in abundance</i> and <i>incredible blessing. </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">[Some Photos from Grad Weekend]</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So blessed and humbled by this weekend. Thank you for all of your support along this journey, friends and family! Lots of love always. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> To God be the glory!</span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-small;">* Also I wish I used this space more and hopefully now I will now that school is done!</span>Rebeccahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18175195313375782421noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7576349466389677504.post-81292501387345786262014-11-16T10:28:00.001-08:002014-11-16T10:28:04.483-08:00Moving into Freedom<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Freedom.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">What does that word actually encompass?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So much more than what I have put to it.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I have said I am free.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Free from the past.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Free from sickness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>From hurt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>From heart break.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>From all that
has happened to me.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But did I ever actually fully walk in
freedom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In His freedom?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Last Sunday at church God spoke to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the most gentle and loving way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He said, “It is okay to feel this way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To feel hurt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>To remember.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But don’t stay
here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Move into <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">my freedom</i>”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">For
where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And the Spirit dwells in me.<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I didn’t realize until this past week how
much I was actually still captive to.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The closer November 11 came, the closer a whole lot of emotions
came.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Suffocating and paralyzingly close.</span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Everything from bad to good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>From sickness to healing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>From anger and hate to love and peace.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I didn’t know how to deal with it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To work through it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I couldn’t on my
own.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I had to turn to Him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have to continually turn to Him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And give it up.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Give
it up.<o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Why do I hold on to some of this crap?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am not doing myself or anyone else a favor
when I do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The past is the past.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And no, remembering isn’t bad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It just depends on what you dwell on.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Looking back, I was dwelling on all the let
me down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The hard times.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The times when I literally didn’t know if I
would ever get out of bed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I would
ever be loved.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I would ever have a
life.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But my dear friend challenged me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She said she renamed November 11 for me.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">She said it’s my <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">miracle</i> day.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Because without the suffering and the pain,
the life and miraculous would not be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Without knowing darkness, one cannot know
what the light truly is.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US">When
light breaks into darkness, it changes everything</span></b><span lang="EN-US">.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Darkness
cannot remain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is impossible.<o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><o:p><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><o:p><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Unless we put up barriers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Blocks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">If we put those things up, then the
darkness hides behind, under, and around them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">These past few months, I have been getting
rid of these blocks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Moving them
away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Good riddance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t need them.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I want it to be clear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To be in pure and crystal clear light.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Light that creates rainbows.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">That
creates truth, peace, love, and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">freedom</i>!<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And I have been able to begin this process
because of Him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Spirit in me.</i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">He is interceding for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Cleaning me out.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Bringing me into His freedom.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">To my rightful place before God, as His
beloved daughter, because of what Christ has done.</span></span></div>
Rebeccahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18175195313375782421noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7576349466389677504.post-18070549668259611162014-04-14T02:32:00.004-07:002014-04-14T02:32:47.144-07:00Guatemala Bound!<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I am writing this post as I anxiously await leaving for the airport. To the airport where I will actually be flying to Guatemala! My last post (sorry for not updating you after!) was all about my disappointment and frustration with health and how it prevented me from going to Guatemala. I oddly had a peace about the fact that I could not go. I knew that God had a bigger and better plan; however, it was so frustrating to know that sickness once again was stopping me from something important and that I felt God had called me to. It turns out I probably had a kidney infection; however, the pain was so excruciating so maybe I did pass a kidney stone? Anyhow, regardless of the fact of what it is, I know that God's healing hand was on me. After receiving prayer one Sunday, the pain literally disappeared and I was filled with energy by the end of the evening. After this, I realized that God was trying to teach me something. I didn't have to be in Guatemala to see Him move in amazing ways.</span><br />
<em><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I didn't have to go to the place where I was expecting to see Him move, to see Him move.</span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">He is just as powerful here. Just as good here. </span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">The same amazing God here.</span></em><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">At the end of March, due to varying circumstances, I realized I would be able to go on a trip that was planned to Guatemala by my father to install irrigation and water purification for the Seeds of Tomorrow Project that is up and going at Impact Ministries. I was actually at the airport, coming back from a short trip to see my sister for her birthday when I realized I could go. I honestly cannot describe the joy that filled my heart in that moment - and still continues to!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">So in an hour, I leave for the airport with an amazing group of guys... my boyfriend and a few of our friends from our Community Group are flying to Houston where we will be meeting up with my dad, sister, and a few of my dad's colleagues who helped donate the water systems.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I do not know what I will all be doing on this trip; however, I do know that God is calling me to rest. </span><br />
<strong><em><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">To rest in Him.</span></em></strong><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Guatemala is a place for me that the veil between heaven and earth is smaller. Where I feel God move in mighty ways. Where I see His hand at work. Where I see the battle between good and evil so vividly. Where the Truth is completely changing lives, families, and whole communities.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">And so I am going with an open and expectant heart.</span><br />
<em><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">A heart that desires to rest in His presence.</span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">To grow closer to Him and more sensitive to His Spirit.</span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">A heart that desires to stop carrying my own burdens and rest in Him - for it is His yoke that is easy and burden that is light.</span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-family: Georgia;"></span></em><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia;">I will do my best to keep you updated with what our team gets up to in Guatemala and how God is working in our lives - however, I may not be able to do this until we are back. But I will do what I can. Thank you for keeping us in your prayers.</span><br />
<em><span style="font-family: Georgia;"></span></em><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><strong>“Come to me,<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23488A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)"></sup> all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23488B" title="See cross-reference B">B</a>)"></sup> <span class="text Matt-11-29" id="en-NIV-23489"><span class="woj">Take my yoke upon you and learn from me,<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23489C" title="See cross-reference C">C</a>)"></sup> for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.</span></span><span class="text Matt-11-30" id="en-NIV-23490"><span class="woj"><sup class="versenum"> </sup>For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” - Matthew 11:28-30</span></span></strong></span></div>
Rebeccahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18175195313375782421noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7576349466389677504.post-31155540361946874842014-02-21T12:29:00.005-08:002014-02-21T12:51:23.970-08:00It's Your Breath<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Everything happens for a reason.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Everything happens for a reason...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Everything</i> happens for a reason?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihPxmM8c31nrqRResPjCdri6_fBilb2i8U5weyt7bcJI_XfAsB6OGkFVLLfQ_Ifwba5voPsrN1kYAXmKEiescULT5dUijBhObUXzPHq3DWJoT2ygW21nIfcCq_WUPlTDcT7GNfuo6jn4c/s1600/IMG_0019.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihPxmM8c31nrqRResPjCdri6_fBilb2i8U5weyt7bcJI_XfAsB6OGkFVLLfQ_Ifwba5voPsrN1kYAXmKEiescULT5dUijBhObUXzPHq3DWJoT2ygW21nIfcCq_WUPlTDcT7GNfuo6jn4c/s1600/IMG_0019.jpg" height="400" width="298" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I started to believe and hold onto this Monday night in the emergency room while waiting for my IV antibiotics to finish. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Earlier that evening, my dear friend finally talked sense into me and brought me to Abbotsford emergency as I was having severe lower back pain, weakness, and was running a fever. I was scared to admit something might be going on that was more than just food poisoning (I had sushi on Friday that I thought was off so obviously put all my symptoms on that). Wednesday I was supposed to be flying to Guatemala on a short term missions trip with a group from my university and so I figured I should make sure things were under control before going - not thinking they would tell me not to go...</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQZ9bbPprIsn1QGNm8ybVp7bcg0q2SwMvO472jHW1GFhja-AlrFP3Us6K9Ih-2FD8YDRpyjaQ_i6DczYMdlhqKvUw9Tv5QiYDaZ5hdzC51opSSr7aQkLXsmCABohvfpOZTMSmVOI0lNsk/s1600/IMG_0020.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQZ9bbPprIsn1QGNm8ybVp7bcg0q2SwMvO472jHW1GFhja-AlrFP3Us6K9Ih-2FD8YDRpyjaQ_i6DczYMdlhqKvUw9Tv5QiYDaZ5hdzC51opSSr7aQkLXsmCABohvfpOZTMSmVOI0lNsk/s1600/IMG_0020.jpg" height="400" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Note the Guatemalan pants!</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My friend asked me what was the worst thing it could be and my mind didn't go to the absolute worsts (like cancer or back to Chronic Fatigue - at least that night). My mind went to a bad kidney infection in which I would need IV antibiotics for. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So when that is actually what they did for me, I realized it wasn't good. I probably wouldn't be going to the country that held a special piece of my heart. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I was sick.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And God was making this happen for a reason? Purposefully stopping me from going to Guatemala?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Why would He make this happen to me? Force sickness on me, again, when I felt like I was following His will?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And as the days have progressed, with more tests (including a CT to rule out kidney stones), more medications, and more doctors in the ER, I began to realize that this wasn't true. Sure in the long run, reason can and probably will come from this but the truth is, sickness, pain, and death are not of Him. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So instead I chose (and continue to choose) to hold onto this truth instead:</span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); text-align: justify;"><i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28)</span></i></span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I can believe that good will come of out this. I can trust He is working in and through this - not that He caused this per say but is using this for good. And not my own good necessarily but His good, the greater good, and my spiritual good. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And to be honest, I already have learned from this. That I was falling back to my own ways. Saying yes to too much. Feeling like the more I did, the better. If I was gasping for air, all the better. Because that meant I was doing a lot for Him right? Reaching beyond myself and to others...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But now that I am forced to stop and truly breathe...<i> Inhale Him and His goodness and peace and exhale Grace... </i>I recognize that in the gasping, I was breathing on my own. Not relying on His breath. His air to fill my lungs. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>So now, in the forced rest, I am trying to let go and just rest in Him. Let go of people-pleasing and instead focus on just pleasing Him. Letting go and letting God. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Letting Him do a work greater than I could ever imagine. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Thankfully I am now off the IV and can be taking oral antibiotics and strong pain medication at home, as they were able to rule out kidney stones, or worse. So I'm praying that in this time He would transform my mind and heal my body. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><i>That it would be His breath in my lungs, now and forever. </i></b></span><br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/uHz0w-HG4iU?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe>Rebeccahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18175195313375782421noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7576349466389677504.post-62576010878184829072014-02-01T15:07:00.004-08:002014-02-01T15:09:26.713-08:00Make Space and Time in Order to Make a Life<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">God gives us everything we need for space - but we will have to make space.</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">God gives us all the ingredients for time - but we will have to make time.</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">God gives us everything we need to live - but we will have to make a life.</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> Ann Voskamp <a href="http://www.aholyexperience.com/2014/01/how-to-find-time-space-for-the-life-you-want-pt-2-makeyourownspace/" target="_blank">@aholyexperience</a></span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Making space and time in order to make a life.</span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Ann's words hit me this morning as I stopped to read. Read her blog so rightly named A Holy Experience. For it led me to a holy experience.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">A time of making space. Setting aside time.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Making space and time for Him.</span></i><br />
<b><i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Making life worth more.</span></i></b><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Worth more by fitting in less. By doing less.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">By decluttering. By reorganizing. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">By creating space.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-80sPiNVZSSxuQZR-O2FvriwnFSEP3d86sty9aEvXjn2Z9_qY-x1IO90a_WlqI0-KdIamoeRW31CZ01R-7P68gbCd0iAH5X3EaJy3Mqeo-4PSRFAzGgLrePnZlOUanabuXZaBOfU0jSA/s1600/IMG_4321.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-80sPiNVZSSxuQZR-O2FvriwnFSEP3d86sty9aEvXjn2Z9_qY-x1IO90a_WlqI0-KdIamoeRW31CZ01R-7P68gbCd0iAH5X3EaJy3Mqeo-4PSRFAzGgLrePnZlOUanabuXZaBOfU0jSA/s1600/IMG_4321.jpg" height="200" width="150" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I don't know about you, but the state of my life can often be reflected in the state of my workplace.</span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My desk was in absolute chaos. And up until last week that was my life.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I couldn't seem to get a handle on what I had to do. What I wanted to do.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Whether I was coming or going.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Whether I could just sit and stop the racing thoughts that preoccupied my mind.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And praise the Lord, I been slowly gaining peace and stillness.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Been able to put priority on simplifying.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Been able to go against the norm of this world that more is better. Bigger is better.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">That more and bigger and better = a fuller life...?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Christ says that He came so that we may have life and <b><a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John%2010:10" target="_blank">life to the full</a></b>.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But He doesn't then follow that with a list of how to fill our life.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">He continues by talking about laying down our life.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Laying it down.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Laying it down. Not filling it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Laying down our priorities.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Laying down the busyness.</span><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Laying it down.</span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But am I willing? Will I lay down my life?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">If I truly desire to simplify my life so that it can be filled with Him, then I must lay down my life.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Christ says,</span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 20px; font-style: italic; line-height: 30px;">Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. . . . I have called you friends . . . —</span><a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?version=31&search=John+15%3A13%2C+15" style="color: #999999; font-family: Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 20px; font-style: italic; line-height: 30px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">John 15:13, 15</a><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So today I started simplifying again. Clearing space.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Clearing space on my desk. Because with a clear desk somehow I feel I can sit and breathe. Seek Him with a clearer mind and heart.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So I chose to make space.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Make space, so I could make time.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Make space and time, so I could make a life in Him.</span></i><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">A life full of Him.</span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-j7PTdLW097MtV27WoA20A-qXuQDBsexsxlQ_-5B_wKlwgcnx8fMFaI2vQdVbUu81FnFTi_SmlNlQ9-Fk3PQV7vSJ05qsX2574EeAY4jBAqWFRCa36kOofs0DZ8q_1RqBqaFPExe7Xj4/s1600/IMG_0018.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-j7PTdLW097MtV27WoA20A-qXuQDBsexsxlQ_-5B_wKlwgcnx8fMFaI2vQdVbUu81FnFTi_SmlNlQ9-Fk3PQV7vSJ05qsX2574EeAY4jBAqWFRCa36kOofs0DZ8q_1RqBqaFPExe7Xj4/s1600/IMG_0018.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Oh and an added bonus of choosing to make space and time?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I finally can choose to commit to something I have been wanting to do for a long time.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Memorizing Scripture. I had printed out Ann's Jesus Project full of soul sustaining Words of Christ found in John but they sat amid the mess of my desk.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So in the clearing, I decided to choose to fill my mind with Him. Lay down my chaos and fill it with His words. I chose to rid my brain of me and the craziness and fill it with Life and Truth.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So I am starting Ann Voskamp's Jesus Project - <a href="http://www.aholyexperience.com/2014/01/scripture-memorization-for-the-rest-of-us-the-jesus-project-memoryproject2014/" target="_blank">check it out here</a>! Won't you join me?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
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<br />Rebeccahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18175195313375782421noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7576349466389677504.post-63863731262415492882014-01-08T09:49:00.002-08:002014-01-08T10:00:38.369-08:00Faithful<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Today marks a big day.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">A day I have long awaited since being sick - but also feared.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">A day that holds a lot of pressure on me and creates anxiety.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And I don't fully know why.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But today marks the day I return to Nursing. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I am going back to Trinity to take a Nursing Leadership course, which I am actually really looking forward to. The crazy school-loving nerd in me cannot wait to hit the books again and learn - learn things that will impact my career and life goals... but if only taking a class meant just taking a class.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It holds a lot more.</span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It holds past identities that I no longer can or wish to fulfill. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The overachiever. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Involved in everything. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Unable to say no. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Perfectionist.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The one who had to do to feel appreciated and loved.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And I still fight that. But why?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I know that God loves me for me. Not what I can do.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And that the more I do doesn't equal more love or acceptance or forgiveness.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Grace comes freely - not because of a.n.y.t.h.i.n.g I have done.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But going back to school pushes back on this truth. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My heart fills with nerves and worry.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But thankfully not just with that.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Also with joy and hope.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Joy that I am healed and can go back.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Hope that He has not only physically healed me but is healing my messed up and broken heart and mind.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">That He is transforming me more and more every day.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Through the struggles and the pain.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Through the lessons.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>And I know He is with me.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>And will remain with me through this day and all that is to come.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I woke up with the chorus of "Never Once" by Matt Redman stuck in my head.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And you may say that is coincidence but I think it is Him.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Him whispering His truth.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>That He has never left me alone and never will.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>That He is with me.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>And so today I rest in this.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>I rest in Him.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And that He is with me through it all.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">That He was with me through the horrible struggles of being sick and the unknowing that held.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">That He was with me through the healing and the incredible joy that brought.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">That He is with me now as I enter back into a life I once knew.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And that He will never leave me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><b>Because He was, is, and will forevermore be faithful.</b></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><span style="text-align: center;">Standing on this mountaintop</span></i></span><br /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><span style="text-align: center;">Looking just how far we’ve come</span></i></span><br /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><span style="text-align: center;">Knowing that for every step </span></i></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><span style="text-align: center;">You were with us</span></i></span><br /><br /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><span style="text-align: center;">Kneeling on this battle ground</span></i></span><br /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><span style="text-align: center;">Seeing just how much You’ve done</span></i></span><br /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><span style="text-align: center;">Knowing every victory w</span></i></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><span style="text-align: center;">as Your power in us</span></i></span><br /><br /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><span style="text-align: center;">Scars and struggles on the way</span></i></span><br /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><span style="text-align: center;">But with joy our hearts can say</span></i></span><br /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><span style="text-align: center;">Yes, our hearts can say</span></i></span><br /><br /><b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><i><span style="text-align: center;">Never once did we ever walk alone</span></i></span></span></b><br /><b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><i><span style="text-align: center;">Never once did You leave us on our own</span></i></span></span></b><br /><b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><i><span style="text-align: center;">You are faithful, God, You are faithful</span></i></span></span></b><br /> </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background-color: white;"><i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="text-align: center;">Every step we are breathing in Your grace</span></span></i></span> </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background-color: white;"><i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="text-align: center;">Evermore we’ll be breathing out Your praise</span></span></i></span><br /><span style="background-color: white;"><i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="text-align: center;">You are faithful, God, You are faithful</span></span></i></span><br /><span style="background-color: white;"><i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="text-align: center;">You are faithful, God, You are faithful</span></span> </i></span><br /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><span style="text-align: center;">You are faithful, God, You are faithful</span> </i></span></blockquote>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">- Matt Redman</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>Rebeccahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18175195313375782421noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7576349466389677504.post-460666382823728192013-12-11T16:54:00.000-08:002013-12-11T16:54:01.168-08:00Oceans<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">While on my run along the beach today, I realized something. God opened my eyes to something new and wondrous about the ocean. The calm, peaceful and repetitive ways seemed to echo the sound of my soul. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Running is therapeutic for me. A way that I can let go of what has been going on - whether it be the list of to dos, including packing for Australia to visit my baby sister (!), or concern for loved ones - I can let it go. And as cliche as it is, I can let it go and let God.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Running is a time for prayer for me. A time when I can just focus on God - and especially His goodness. <i>Because every time I run now, I cannot help but think about the miracle He did in my life. How the impossible not only became fathomable again but actually possible.</i></span><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">How I can get out of bed, slip on a pair of runners, and go.</span></i><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But I also realized something else. The oceans waves aren't always so mellow and therapeutic. They can be harsh, fear-bringing, and life-threatening.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But regardless of what they bring, they always come.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And that got me thinking and praying about life. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">About life and what it has brought and what it may bring.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">About how it will come. It will always come.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And I have no control whether it will be peace or fear bringing.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>But I do have a constant that I can rely on.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>He is in control.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>He knows what the waves will do now, tomorrow, and fifteen years from now.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>He knows and allows them to be as they are.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>But He also has the power to speak "Peace, be still" and calm them.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>He has the ultimate control of the waves of life -</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>as well as the perfect go</b></span><b style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">odness to hold us through it all.</b><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And for that I can praise Him.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Praise Him all the day long.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">(Oceans by Hillsong ... a song that seems fitting and has also been a constant in my morning routine and life really recently!)</span>Rebeccahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18175195313375782421noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7576349466389677504.post-60178758438953687172013-11-18T15:51:00.003-08:002013-11-18T15:51:26.553-08:00Remember<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Remember.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Remember when things were different. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">When life was filled with confusion. Darkness. Questions. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And death seemed all too real.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">A week ago I was remembering this. Remembering when the darkest time of my life all started.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">November 11, 2012 my journey into the darkest and most confusing time of my life began.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">After struggling for breath and the strength to stand, a dear friend of mine took me from church to the hospital emergency room. I remember I had a poppy on my jacket and seeing services commemorating the bravery of the many soldiers who fought for our freedom on the waiting room television but the rest is a fog. A fog of tests and questions. A fog of unknowns and discomfort. A fog of pain and confusion.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">What was happening to me? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But that question couldn't be answered that day. Nor can it really be answered to this day.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But one thing I do know is that the fog of that day and the dark mist of the months to follow cleared. <b>The light shone in. He shone in.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>He changed my life. He brought hope, love, and comfort in the most hopeless, dark, and desperate time in my life.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>He came. He saved me. He freed me.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>It was Him.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>It was always Him.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Regardless if answers are there or not. Regardless if clarity is there or not. Regardless of it all. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It is Him.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Regardless of what life may hold today. Regardless of how dark or hopeless it may be.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>It is Him.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>He is the answer.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>He is the hope.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><b>He is all in all.</b></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>He frees us. He holds us. He bravely and scandalously came and freed us from the darkest depths of all.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>He came. He is here. And He is holding us.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>In the dark. In the confusion. In it all.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And sometimes He is hard to see. But I think it may be because we don't want to see. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We don't want to see the good that is promised. To think that good is possible. To think that there is a plan.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Because at points I honestly did not. I did not understand it at all.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But He did have something greater in store. And honestly my life would look drastically different today if it weren't for this suffering. My faith would lack depth. I would still be so desperately trying to control life and change things on my own. I would continue to hide my suffering... my story.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But He changed this. <i>He changed me.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And I will always remember that.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I will always remember what He has done in my life this past year.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And I will celebrate Him and how He never left.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>And how He will never leave.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">One of my first blog posts was about this day. And I am amazed looking back and reading of the work He was doing in me then. Amidst my suffering. So I want to leave you with my ending words from that post about Remembrance Day and the new hope and meaning I gained from it last year. In hopes that these words may encourage you wherever you are on your journey this day - for even amidst the intense dark, it is Him and He is there.</span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 20px;">So on a day when we normally celebrate our country's freedom, I was feeling more and more confined, confused, and helpless. I do not like that Remembrance Day will now always remind me of my own struggles when I know that the people who fought for freedom went through much worse than this disease. I pray instead that when I wear a poppy again, I would not think of my struggles or even their struggles alone, rather I pray that I would think of His blood shed for me, for them, for us all. I pray that the poppy would symbolize freedom in Christ above all other freedoms. I pray that the poppy would cause me to remember the pain but also the peace that Christ gave me that day but that I would not stop there. That I would remember the fight that Christ has won through conquering </span><i style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 20px;">the </i><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 20px;">grave, instead of remembering my feelings of the grave or the graves of soldiers alone. But more than that, the cry of my heart is that we would be able to wear our struggles, pain, and grave-like times on our shirts as we wear the poppy.<br /><div style="text-align: right;">
<i><span style="background-color: transparent;">(Read more from this post </span><a href="http://lifebeyondthewindow.blogspot.ca/2013/05/may-we-remember.html" style="background-color: transparent;" target="_blank">here</a>)</i></div>
</span></span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Much love and blessings.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">xo </span>Rebeccahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18175195313375782421noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7576349466389677504.post-35468677558112755602013-11-05T13:38:00.002-08:002013-11-05T13:38:45.428-08:00Forever Held<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It has been months now since I have been stuck sick in bed. And these past few months have been absolutely incredible. Full of learning, experiencing things I love, doing amazing activities with people closest to me, and choosing to rest and sit in His love.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I am running again, painting again, cooking again, traveling again and <i>dreaming again</i>.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>And God is good. So good through it all.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Even today as I sit sick. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Sick for the first time since being truly sick. And yes it is just the flu and I know I have no need to worry of relapse because the flu is normal, but it still makes me think things. Less things of worry of becoming as I was, sick as a was, but more things of how I was. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The fear and reality of what being hopeless felt like.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">How I did not know if 'better' would ever be my reality.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">If I would ever go to Guatemala again, let alone get out of bed.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">If my life would be filled with love and joy again.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I am officially weaning off of my antidepressants now - Praise the Lord! - and although I don't feel hopeless or depressed now, it reminds me of where I was. The reality that was my life. And yes He never left me and never let me go but it was still a dark valley... the darkest valley.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">During that time I drew a picture of an old key and captioned it 'Locked Inside'.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">That was a scary time for me. Realizing that was what was happening. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And although I wish I were never on antidepressants (and not because of the stigma but because I believe there a lot of other ways to heal from that low now), I recognize that coupled with intense prayers and the constant holding of my Saviour, that I was able to come through that. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Into light. Into hope. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Into life and life to the full - even while I was still in bed. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So although this time of feeling like I am run over by a truck is real and happening now, I don't need to worry. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>I don't need to fret because I know He holds me. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>He holds my future. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>And He will never let go. </b></span>Rebeccahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18175195313375782421noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7576349466389677504.post-67854148522377371512013-10-24T12:10:00.001-07:002013-10-24T12:10:46.172-07:00Brutal Honesty<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I went for coffee with an old friend yesterday after my art class. Well I had peppermint tea because I'm doing a 10 Day Detox (<a href="http://fuelurbanwellness.com/drivenwomansdetox/" target="_blank">check it out here</a>! It's put together by my health coach <a href="http://fuelurbanwellness.com/" target="_blank">Amanda Daley </a>and it's awesome! I am deconstructing cravings and also detoxing from all the meds I have been on throughout my journey this past year! And I can excitedly say I am officially weaned off of all my sleeping pills now, which only leaves the antidepressant and I can probably start weaning that soon now that I'm off everything else!!)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Anyways, back to what I want to write about today... Sorry I have a bit of a tendency to go on rabbit trails when I am excited about something!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So we went for coffee/tea to catch up, talk about Guatemala and church. And we ended up coming to the topic of brutal honesty. And how far too many people say they are good when they are not. So I was like "well let's do it - let's be brutally honest." And we decided to hold each other accountable to a month of honesty - to everyone. And I hope you will consider joining us too!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But I got to thinking how hard it was to answer the "how are you?" question when I was sick. I didn't want to be flat out honest with how I was struggling with depression, not getting better, and wondering if I would ever get better. Partly because of selfish reasons. Pride is there and it's hard to admit you are really not doing well. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But I also found I didn't want to share how I was really doing because people didn't want to hear anything other than "A bit better" or "Today is a good day!" And this was really hard for me. I didn't want to lie but it was way easier. And to someone I wasn't close with, I just didn't want to have to get into it. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But what good does saying you are well when you aren't do? I don't think it does any. Yes it's important not to get stuck in the bad and to focus on gratitude and reasons to be joyous. But honesty also sets us free.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And it is freeing to share how you are really doing. What is going on in your life. What your struggles are. And what your joys are. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And yes it was really hard to answer honestly when I was sick but I find it almost harder now. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Harder now because people expect I should be great - because I am doing better. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Harder now because I don't want people to think I could be getting worse. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Harder now because I refuse to go back to how I was. To be sick again. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Harder now because I know I have so very much to be grateful for and have such a story to share. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Harder now but that doesn't excuse it. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So in all honesty, I am trying to find my place again. And it's hard. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It's hard to find where I fit. Who I am now that so much has changed in me. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Where God wants me to be in this different season of rest - a chosen season of rest. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And hard because of fear that sneaks in. Sneaks in and says I shouldn't or cannot do something because I will relapse. Or fear that I don't fit there anymore. Or ... the list can go on. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And so although in some ways I am really doing so great, I am also struggling. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And that's reality. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And that's honesty. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And I hope and pray that striving to be honest about these things will help me work through the fears and realize that it is freedom I stand in. </span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">That He is in me. </span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And I have no need to fear. </span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And that honesty will set me free. </span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Sets us all free</b>. </span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Accepting the Truth of Christ. </span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Living in that Truth. </span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And living honest lives with each other. </span></i><br />
<br />Rebeccahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18175195313375782421noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7576349466389677504.post-33711814247217556002013-10-15T16:39:00.001-07:002013-10-15T16:47:51.770-07:00Home in Guatemala<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"So do you feel at home?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This was a question that my friend Les Peters, the founder of Impact Ministries, asked me two weeks ago, shortly after arriving in Tactic, Guatemala. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My answer: a full blown yes. I didn't have to think about it. I wasn't shocked by his question. Or my reaction.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I was at home. And I was experiencing it with my family.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I was at home. Even though I knew I was only staying a week. I was living in the guest house but I didn't feel like a guest. I felt immediately connected. Loved. And filled with joy.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Guatemala is a place that holds a huge part of my heart. It was so hard leaving and it has been hard writing this post because it makes me really reflect on what I left. I wish I didn't have to leave because it is home there - in a whole other way than here. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But I know that home isn't just a place. But it is relationship.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Filled and healed relationship with God, myself, and people around me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And God is doing so many amazing, incredible, and almost inconceivable things in that community.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>He is working. He is shining down His love and blessings. He is giving hope.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Hope to a people that have been oppressed and weighed down.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Hope to a people who don't know what it is to dream.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Hope to a people who live in a 24 hr cycle of hoping to be able to get food for their family.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>But Hope is changing these cycles</b>. Giving dreams. Instilling worth.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Providing a seedbed for growth. And completely changing lives.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Including my own. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Six years ago, I never would have dreamt I would be where I am today. Filled with a story of healing and hope. Back from my fourth (and definitely not last - Lord willing) trip to Guatemala.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And witnessing change in incredible ways in my life and Guatemala that can only be explained by one things - God. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>His life-changing, hope-giving, worth-instilling, and revolutionary Gospel.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">While in Guatemala, I had many amazing and life impacting opportunities. But a couple stand out among the rest... So if I may, I will share some of those things with you now..</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I had the immense privilege to be able to stand before one of the school devotionals and personally thank each child there for praying for me. While I was sick, every school was praying for me. I knew one of the schools was, but I didn't know all 1300 amazing children were. And you know, God heard those prayers. Those prayers from hearts that physically are small, but emotionally and spiritually are overflowing. Prayer is powerful and from the lips of all those children, powerful seems too weak a word. I was able thank them for praying and encourage them that they helped changed my life because God not only heard but also answered their prayers for healing. It was a pretty incredible moment. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Another moment that stood out for me was the official Seeds of Tomorrow Greenhouse opening (you can read more about this in <a href="http://lifebeyondthewindow.blogspot.ca/2013/10/seeds-of-tomorrow.html" target="_blank">my last post here</a>). It was a surreal moment for me - Seeing how God worked and completely changed my dad's heart, gave him a vision, and then brought that dream into reality in 15 months! It was amazing and such a blessing to be a small part of. The gratitude was tangible by all in attendance (approximately 1000!). It was a special morning indeed. And all glory to God!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The last story I will share in this post is about my sponsor child - the one who left that special message months ago (<a href="http://lifebeyondthewindow.blogspot.ca/2013/06/a-phone-call.html" target="_blank">you can read more about that here</a>!). Going to her house and seeing her whole family together with most of my family was so special. Thanking her for all she has done for me - including earnestly praying for me - and sharing my love to her. I bought best friend bracelets and had the joy of giving her one. I know that forever is a long time but I also know we will be connected for eternity. Being with her family and mine honestly felt like being in heaven. The Spirit was so present as we shared love, tears, prayers, and gratitude with another. It is a moment I will not forget. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And to top off that amazing visit, I saw her twice after that - at church and at the greenhouse opening, and we were both wearing our friendship bracelets. And she was also wearing the beautifully and lovingly knit sweater a dear friend of mine made for her. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This trip was one I will never forget as I did not know if I would ever be back again due to my health. But God is so amazing and has blessed me beyond belief. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So I am thankful. So very thankful to Him. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Because I know it was Him and not me that got me back to Guatemala. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>It is all Him. </b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth! Serve the Lord with gladness! Come into his presence with singing! Know that the Lord, he is God! It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture. Enter his gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise! Give thanks to him; bless his name! For the Lord is good; his steadfast love endures forever, and his faithfulness to all generations. (Psalm 100:1-5 ESV)</i></span>Rebeccahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18175195313375782421noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7576349466389677504.post-66799913593362512442013-10-08T09:05:00.002-07:002013-10-08T09:05:41.031-07:00Seeds of Tomorrow<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>I have recently returned from an absolutely incredible and impacting trip to Guatemala. I am still processing all the amazing and also extremely challenging things I witnessed and participated in while there with most of my family. It was a huge blessing to be there with Impact Ministries for the fourth time and continue to build relationships. Another surreal blessing was the grand opening of the Seeds of Tomorrow Project that was spearheaded by my father only 15 months ago after I convinced him to come with me. A few months ago I honestly did not know if I would ever be back in Guatemala or able to see the greenhouse in its glory. </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>But God is so unbelievably good and I was there. Celebrating and rejoicing for so many things. </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Here is a short clip about the project and below is an article that came out this morning about it in an agricultural magazine!</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>I am continuing to process this trip and am working on a blog (with a lot of photos!!) but for now here is the amazing piece done by <a href="http://www.hortidaily.com/article/4141/Guatemala-Seeds-of-Tomorrow-greenhouse-officially-opened,-up-and-running" target="_blank">HortiDaily.com</a> about the project and ministry!</i></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">With help of KUBO Greenhouse Projects and Monsanto, a group of volunteers from Houweling's Tomatoes, one of North America's largest tomato growers, opened a greenhouse that will help feed children in the village of Tactic in Guatemala. The Seeds of Tomorrow project, which was spearheaded by the head of Houweling's, Casey Houweling, at the urging of his daughter Rebecca, celebrated the opening of their greenhouse last week.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">“It was a beautiful opening,” said Monica Houweling. Monica is the sister of Rebecca, who suggested her father, Casey, to go forward with the project. “The crop cycle is now underway, and everything's working out well.” Rebecca got the idea for building a greenhouse in Tactic from her travels there as a student and missionary. At the urging of his daughter, Casey took a trip to Tactic, and after spending some time there he realized it was a special place.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Impact Ministries had grown a vibrant school community that serviced the region, with a special focus on the region's children. But Casey noticed a lack of access to nutritious fruits and vegetables, something that was especially confounding because of the region's good farming conditions. He discovered that one of the reasons for the dearth of food grown in the area was due to a torrential downpour every afternoon that washed many of the seeds away before they could take root.</span></div>
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Once back home in the fall of 2012, Casey knew he and the greenhouse community could do much to support the children of Tactic and the work of Impact Ministries. Addressing the need to supply access to nutritious and tasty fruits and vegetables, a small seedling greenhouse would need to be constructed. Casey sounded the alarm bells of urgency to Houweling’s trusted suppliers and employees to join the cause. A multitude of companies came on-board with dollars, goods and services. Kubo of Holland was a significant force, mobilizing their suppliers to have a brand new, fully-kitted greenhouse donated. In preparation for planting, Damian Solomon of Monsanto worked diligently to have much of the seeds donated.</div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The project was finished in less than a year, and now the community of Tactic has increased access to food, education and employment opportunities, noted Monica Houweling.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">“This greenhouse will also help the parents of Tactic's children by allowing them to work the greenhouse and take some of the produce to market,” she said. “The program, run by Impact Ministries, will also offer agricultural courses for students.” She added that she's grateful the project will be able to offer so much for Tactic's children, and that Seeds of Tomorrow would not have been possible without the help of all who donated their time, money and resources.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The greenhouse is entirely built by the help of volunteers and locals. “The construction process was a remarkable, nice experience”, said Monica Houweling. “Especially because the group consisted of many nationalities, which caused some funny language barriers.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The greenhouse is a modern Venlo styled structure that will be used for the seeding and propagation of vegetable young plants. Wouter Kuiper of KUBO; "The greenhouse measures 487 square meters. There is gable and roof ventilation with trip mesh to keep out moths, aphids and other species.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The entire greenhouse structure is sponsored by many Dutch greenhouse suppliers, the growth management is sponsored by Houweling’s, who will keep an eye on the cultivation process now that the structure is completed. “My father will return once in a while to see how things are going and growing at the project site”, secured Monica Houweling. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">“We're thankful for the many people who participated, because it was a great team effort from people in the U.S., Canada and Europe,” said Monica Houweling. “It resulted in such a positive outcome.”</span></div>
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<b style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); text-align: left; text-decoration: none;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="http://www.hortidaily.com/photoalbum/PAViewAlbum.asp?ID=19" style="text-align: left; text-decoration: none;">Click here for more photos of the Seeds of Tomorrow greenhouse project</a></span></b></div>
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Rebeccahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18175195313375782421noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7576349466389677504.post-28300944122661629522013-09-23T11:31:00.001-07:002013-09-23T11:31:11.210-07:00Thread of Hope<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I sit contemplating life. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Life that seems too short. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Taken too fast. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The last two funerals I have been to have been for a 22 year old high school friend and 31 year old cousin. My mind immediately says this should not be. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This is not right. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">They should not be gone. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But then I hear the whispers. </span><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It is right. My timing is always right. </span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">They are with me and are truly living now. </span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Free from the struggles of this world. </span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Free from fear, addiction, and pain. </span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Full of joy, love, and freedom. </span></i><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">After the service this past Friday, pie, ice cream, and herbal tea was served in memory of my cousin Jesse. I wish I knew him more. For despite his open struggles, he loved God and wanted to be free with Him. He desired to be with God. To know His love more and more. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And though his death tragic, such beauty has already come. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I know many have had to work through death. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">How scary it sounds. How foreign it seems to our thoughts. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Work through and accept that we haven't lost Jesse, but heaven has gained Him. He isn't lost because we know where he is. We know he is with Christ worshipping his heart out. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This funeral sparked something else in me too. Not just the hope of knowing where Jesse is but also the joy of the life I have been given. While talking with family and friends last seen far too long ago, I found myself often recounting my miracle story. My story of healing. My story in which God moved in huge ways. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">While talking about my story, my dad piped in. Told of how at some points he didn't know if I would even make it. If I would remain in bed on earth, or my body need to be placed on an earthly bed. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And in honesty, I did think of that too. Would I make it? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But further and darker than that, I too thought about if life were worth living. If it would be better if I could be truly laid to rest rather than stuck on what seemed like coffin of a bed. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But God never left my side. Never took away the last threads of hope and comfort in Him that I desperately hung on to. </span><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">He held me. Saved me. Healed me. </span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And always always loved me. </span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Loved me with a love that is greater than life. </span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">That is life giving. </span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And life freeing. </span></i><br />
<br />Rebeccahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18175195313375782421noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7576349466389677504.post-68935752152078476672013-09-10T16:38:00.000-07:002013-09-10T16:39:00.566-07:00Trust in Me<br />
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<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>The farther you roam along paths of unbelief, the harder it is to remember that I am with you. Anxious thoughts branch off in all directions, taking you further and further from awareness of My Presence. You need to voice your trust in me frequently. This simple act of faith will keep you walking along straight paths with Me. Trust in Me with all your heart, and I will make your paths straight. </i></span></span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I read this in yesterday's Jesus Calling entry. And it hit me. </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Hit me hard. </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I have a secret to share. One that I have only voiced with few. </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">A secret that I am scared to share. </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I am scared of the possibility of what may come. </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This question full of lies and pungent doubt creeps into my mind, "what if I am not healed?"</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It continues if I let it. </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And it wraps around my brain constricting my joy. </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">What if I am just in remission? Chronic Fatigue syndrome doesn't just last 9 months... What if it will come back? What if I hit November 11th (<a href="http://lifebeyondthewindow.blogspot.ca/2013/05/may-we-remember.html" target="_blank">Click here</a> to read about that day I will always remember) ...And my body decides to remember what happened that day and after that far too literally. </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">What if I am not healed?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Trust. Trust in Me</b>. </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">These words are not just whispered but seem to be shouting out at me today as I sit by the river and rest in Him. Look to Him. Seek His beautiful face. </span><b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And as I do these things, His voice - the voice of truth - stands out among the rest. </span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Trust. </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Trust in Me. </span></b><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><br /></b></span><i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And so I sit in repentance and praise this morning. Holding open my hands and my heart. Opening my eyes to cry. To look up. And to fix my gaze upon Him again. </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My God who is always with me. Who never leaves nor forsakes me. </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And promises to give me a hope and a future. </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So today is a day of redirection. Refocus. Re-trusting. </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>And of resting in that faithful pursuing love that holds me now and forever. That I can trust and hold onto without fear. </b></span></i>Rebeccahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18175195313375782421noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7576349466389677504.post-58684839293937561882013-09-03T15:43:00.002-07:002013-09-03T15:43:39.991-07:00YOLO<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">YOLO</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I never liked this newly loved and overly used word. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">You only live once. YOLO. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I didn't say it. I didn't honestly live it. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I believed that yes I only have one life to live so I should live it well and to His glory. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But I don't know how much of my life reflected that I only have this life. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And that I should live it up. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Live it up for Him. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But that has changed. I feel more alive than ever before. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I am doing things I wouldn't have done willingly. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I am dwelling in sacred quiet. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I am rushing through the forest on my bike. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I am jumping into life and so looking forward to what is around the next bend. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I am relinquishing control. My need to know what is happening now, soon, and later. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">What the next corner will look like. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">What I will do there. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>While being stuck in bed, I learned the lesson of taking each day at a time. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Taking what that day held and doing what I was able to. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Appreciating what was there. In that moment. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>And not what I wished were there. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><i>And I am trying to embrace that now. </i></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><i>To live each day with joy, spontaneity, and freedom. </i></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And some days that means exploring the wondrous bike trails around my new home. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Some days that means jumping in the freezing ocean and swimming to the docked boat. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Some days that means creating a painting inspired a phrase in my morning devotional - joy ecstatic.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Some days that means stopping to smell the flowers. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And some days that means being open to what may come. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Living it up. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Loving it. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And going for it. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">No matter what. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Because really, YOLO... So why wouldn't you live it up while you can?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Why wouldn't you decide to live, and I mean really live?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So that is my challenge. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Live it up. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Live it up for Him. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Love and blessings,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Xo</span>Rebeccahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18175195313375782421noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7576349466389677504.post-53358074000036765712013-08-26T15:34:00.000-07:002013-08-26T15:34:11.471-07:00A God of Miracles<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b><i>Miracles are happening my friend.</i></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b><i>Miracles are in our midst.</i></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>God is a God of miracles. He was, He is, and He forever will be.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Yesterday in church during worship, the Truth filled my heart. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">God performed a miracle in me. I am a walking miracle.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Now, I wouldn't have ever told you God wasn't apart of my healing - nor would I have said you were wrong if you called my healing a miracle... </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">But yesterday I accepted it for myself more than I have before.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>God is good and heals His children.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">His promises throughout Scripture of healing, they are true. They are very true for me and I will never be the same because of that! My life is forever changed. I am forever new. I am forever grateful and so blessed to be living and just loving my life.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">While I was sick I read some of these passages with a doubt-filled heart. With questions of why I would deserve to be healed? Why would the Healer God heal me over my dear friend with cancer? Or Tonya, a blogger I follow, who has had CFS/ME for many, many years?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I was holding myself back with fear, feelings of unworthiness, and doubt. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I was trusting His truths but not wholeheartedly - I knew me to be universally true but maybe not true for me, not speaking of my healing. I knew He is the God who heals but I didn't think I deserved it over any one else. And, no, I am not more important than any one else who is crying out for physical healing, but He did heal me. And it wasn't because I changed my thought pattern and decided I was the most deserving person there. It wasn't because of me but because of His faithfulness.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">It wasn't me. <b>It was Him</b>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /><i>It was the Lord who heals</i> (Ex 15:26). </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><i>Who promises to take away our disease </i>(Ex 23:25). </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><i>Who strengthens us on our sick bed</i> (Ps 41:3). </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><i>Who restores health</i> (Jer 30:17).</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><i>Who is with us always and forever</i> (Matt 28:20).</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I hold on to those with great assurance. With faith that is growing.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">With trust that is holding onto hope. With knowing that He says I am worthy and He healed me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">That the doubts and fears... those were not of Him. They held me back. I had to let them go. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I have to let them go.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">We have to let them go.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>And because He is good and love, He helps us. He holds us. He stays with us no matter what.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>And He whispers truth into our hearts.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>Over and over, He gently engraves Him into our hearts.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>He never stops.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>And He never will.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Much love & blessings.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">xo</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">PS. I successfully moved into my new place and am LOVING it! I was able to move in with energy and excitement. This place is already feeling like home and I cannot wait to get to know this place more. So here is to exploring and seeing where He takes my dreams this year!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span>Rebeccahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18175195313375782421noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7576349466389677504.post-58454058947094716902013-08-21T22:21:00.002-07:002013-08-21T22:21:38.046-07:00Here's to Dreaming<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">At a loss of where to begin, I looked around my room. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Looked around and saw memories. Of good and bad. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Of sickness. Of health. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Of my life before. And where my life is going. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I saw things still packed from my apartment last year that where graciously packed by my roommates after I left and was stuck at home. I saw my box filled with my books for Integrative Nutrition. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I saw Nursing textbooks. Photos from high school. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Art supplies. Books to read. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And I sat and wondered, Where do I begin? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Today I started packing up my things (which truly started by unpacking from my trip to California where I helped my sister move into university and things from my apartment last year). </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMd7diue0Kn9bfhih5G9kD0r0B-jFyDgwlmz1vRYlQJvtPmWiklQ0bS0Pbr4msHjoYbQVasj-TLi79vZzYatnQ3WoUgnOvbcxC7TD-6YZaqRxq-mzPhigXu77ZR0IljRAI-Y0yieOZ6qY/s1600/IMG_0763.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMd7diue0Kn9bfhih5G9kD0r0B-jFyDgwlmz1vRYlQJvtPmWiklQ0bS0Pbr4msHjoYbQVasj-TLi79vZzYatnQ3WoUgnOvbcxC7TD-6YZaqRxq-mzPhigXu77ZR0IljRAI-Y0yieOZ6qY/s400/IMG_0763.JPG" width="300" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I was amazed at how much stuff I actually have. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So my packing also became sorting and giving away. Which was actually quite freeing. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Especially as some of the things I packed to give to charity should have been purged a long time ago ... One of which may have included my grade 7 grad dress. Yep...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Anyways, as I began to pack I was texting my new and wonderful roommate as of this Saturday and she reminded me of something huge. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">As tedious and onerous as packing may seem, I was packing. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I was able to pack. Something I couldn't have done two months ago. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I also FaceTimed with a dear friend who is recovering (marvellously and beautifully) from post concussion syndrome. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">From both these conversations, I was reminded of where I was. How far I have come. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">How good God is. And how blessed I am. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I was in bed. I was stuck in bed. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And today I was packing my new bedding for my new bed in my new home. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">How crazy is that?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I shouldn't be doing that. According to doctors and the label Chronic Fatigue places, I shouldn't be back to me. I shouldn't be loving life and finding such joy. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Dreaming of the future and actually being able to dream freely because anything is now possible. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Anything is possible because of Him. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Because of Him and what He has done in my life. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Anything... Even waking up with the energy and motivation to jump in the pool and do some laps.... To go out this evening and do some errands... To do a yoga video that turned out to be a crazy workout (warning - if you want to relax and breathe without gasping for breath, don't try the Jillian Michaels yoga video... She is insane and had me doing things I barely did before I was sick! Although I did take breaks and audibly told her "no way am I doing that!" ... )</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Anything... Including dreaming of the future and what it will hold. Sharing my dreams with dear friends. And packing in order to make a step closer to making those dreams become a reality. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Good night dear friends. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Thank you for walking this journey with me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And inspiring me to dream. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">To dream God-sized dreams. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So here's to dreaming. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Much love. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Xo</span><br />
<br />Rebeccahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18175195313375782421noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7576349466389677504.post-12458443740137963642013-08-15T14:43:00.004-07:002013-08-15T14:43:56.098-07:00Poster Child {part 2}<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"You are the poster child of all the bad symptoms of Chronic Fatigue"</span></i></blockquote>
<blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Those were the words that came from the mouth of my specialist this morning after I updated him on how I was doing and told him about my new symptoms. I didn't quite know what to think when he first told me that. Was I supposed to be happy that at least all my symptoms are confirming that yes I have CFS? Was I to be discouraged that I was dealing with so many of the horrible symptoms? Was I to laugh off the idea of me being a 'poster child' (I know he didn't mean it literally but still!)?</span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I don't know. And honestly I still feel all those things...</span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">(<a href="http://lifebeyondthewindow.blogspot.ca/2013/05/poster-child.html" target="_blank">Click here</a> to continue reading my first Poster Child post)</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Yesterday I returned to see my specialist at St Paul's. I had not seen him since I started to feel better so I was really looking forward to sharing my exciting news and introducing him to the real me. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The me who was missing. Who lives in the joys of simplicity. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Who dreams - and loves to dream big. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Who can walk with a bounce in her step and engage in conversation. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Me. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Me who no longer was plagued with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (M.E.). </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Me who was loving and living life. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My specialist, Dr. Arseneau, was amazed. He couldn't believe how well I was doing and was so happy to see me. He said it was the best way to end his busy day. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And smiling big, he repeated those words that brought me confusion before. But this time they brought me joy. </span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"You are the poster child of true recovery! I almost never see this!"</span></i></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I was able to tell him that I had started implementing exercise into my schedule (low impact of course but exciting nonetheless!). How I was down to less than half of the sleeping pills I was originally on. How I was cutting and even eliminating other drugs. How I was making plans for my immediate future and so excited about life. How I feel like me again - and almost more than who I was before. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So my appointment ended with gratitude and smiles on every face in the room. He said he would leave my file open if I ever needed to come back but that he didn't think I would need to. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>That I was the exception. The Poster Child of a completely different kind. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And so we left St. Paul's Hospital and I was filled with gratitude, joy, and so beyond blessed. As I walked down the stairs that I was unable to previously even attempt, I felt a rush of what can only be explained as God's goodness and glory. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And the last thing I saw of that hospital through the trees opening up to the blue sky, was the cross. The cross on top of the brick building. Shining truth to the community that was so evident through the compassionate and individual care I received there. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">That evening I was able to share this story with two wonderful friends who I have really only began to get to know. The most wonderful people that I cannot wait to know even more. Yesterday evening was a blessing. Filled with delicious food, uplifting and encouraging conversation, wonderful views, and a beautiful hand crafted gift. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It was there I realized all I had done that day. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">That I had been to Fort Langley, into Vancouver, and was then enjoying Tsawwassen. And I still felt awesome. Full of energy and excitement for life!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I was even referred to as the 'energizer bunny'!! Haha what a glorious change!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">What a blessing of an evening with amazing and uplifting people. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But I cannot omit the absolutely wondrous morning I had yesterday!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I went into Fort Langley with my beautiful best friend. We had a lovely breakfast at iconic Wendels coffee shop and then walked around Fort Langley. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We ended our walk at OUR NEW PLACE! (Sorry I cannot contain my excitement!)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We got our keys and enjoyed time with our landlord - whom we are so blessed by already!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So yesterday was amazing. The perfect day. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Even through some rain. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It was wonderful. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And I won't forget it. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I am so blessed and so grateful for this life I have been given. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
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Rebeccahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18175195313375782421noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7576349466389677504.post-75615080827934207492013-08-10T20:11:00.001-07:002013-08-10T20:11:00.683-07:00A New Friend<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Yesterday April, my sister, and I were driving down Granville Street and we saw a man on the street. He was homeless and appeared to be struggling with health issues. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We drove on by, but I couldn't seem to get him off my mind. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I even woke up thinking about him. I wanted to talk with him. Learn his story. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Give him food and friendship. Show him someone cared. That someone would stop and not just walk by him as if he were invisible. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I had planned to go back to Vancouver today so I hoped I would see him. He wasn't where I remembered seeing him yesterday. I was a bit disheartened as I really felt God place him on my heart. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But then I met Don. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">He too was homeless. On the side of Granville Street. At first I walked by him in hopes of finding my other friend to be. But then I realized he was just as worthy. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Was worthy of attention. Of a meal. Of conversation. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So I asked him if I could get him something from Starbucks. Asked what he wanted. How he liked his coffee. And his face lit up. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">He asked for a breakfast sandwich and coffee with cream. So I went on my way and came back with his order and a gift card. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">He was really kind and beyond grateful. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It made my day. And I have a feeling it may have made his day too. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So although I didn't meet my other friend, I made a new one. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And instead of having one new friend to pray for, I now have two. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">One whose name I hope to one day learn and Don.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And God touched my heart too. Opened my eyes wider. Reminded me of more. Of how blessed I am. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I went to Vancouver to buy bedding for my new place. My new place that is warm, dry, and filled with comfortable furniture. My place where there will (almost) always be food to choose from. A best friend to talk to. And any TV show to watch. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Today was humbling, joy-filled, and gave me hope. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Hope that love can change the world. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>That Love has changed the world.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>And continues to radically change it each moment of every day.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>And I am blessed to be able to be a part of sharing that love that has completely shocked and filled me. </b></span>Rebeccahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18175195313375782421noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7576349466389677504.post-73051133750792745342013-08-06T13:31:00.000-07:002013-08-06T13:34:13.783-07:00Sing Like Never Before<br>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); line-height: 24px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Sing like never before oh my soul</i></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>And worship Your holy name</i></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Yes I will worship Your holy name. </i></span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This morning has been beautiful. The sun came out early and kept the usual morning fog at bay. The waves are crashing 'Hallelujah' on repeat. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My Spirit is lifted higher and higher. Filled more and more with His love and joy. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Filled with longing to be closer and closer to Him - every single day. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Music was playing in the background from my iPhone but the songs that played were ones I haven't really listened to much before. Christian artists who are Spirit filled but yet to make it big. All that to say I didn't really know the songs but instead was able to soak them in and pray along with their heart cries instead of singing along because I knew them. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>This led for a Spiritual morning. One that I recommitted to open my hands wider and wider so that I could reach up to Him in praise. So that I could see empty palms waiting for Him instead of closed fights grabbing for whatever around me. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This morning was beautiful. Serene. Spiritual. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I walked along the beach and felt something in me saying to pick up rocks along the way. And the more I did, I realized they were to become a pillar or altar of worship. And maybe it was nothing more than my desire to create but regardless it led to something Spiritual and beautiful. Signifying my meeting Him and committing to Him more. <b>Committing to be more Spirit filled and led. To receive more of Him and be less of me. More of who He created me to be, shining His light of love and glory. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So I stacked my rocks one on top of the other onto the biggest rock I could find. The one that seemed immovable. The one that was flat and ready to hold my prayers. The one that had life already on it. Life abundant growing on it in glorious and vibrant green. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>So I placed my altar of prayer on that rock. <i>The Rock</i>. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>The One who is immovable. Freely giving of life to the full. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And I prayed. And slowly the waves came and washed my prayers out to sea. But the Rock remained. Unmoved. There by me. Willing and always open for more. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">For </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">more cries for help. More cries to be closer. More cries to see Him. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>And then I needed to dance. I danced in the waves, without a care of who was around. I danced and sang praise to Him. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>For He has filled me with joy. With hope. With perfect unconditional love. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>With longing to be with Him. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">He takes me again and again. Filled with grace and forgiveness, He takes me. Holds me and promises to never let me go. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So I dance and sing. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I am filled with joy. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And I begin to see, hear, and smell Him all around me. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>He is here. He is always here. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>For He is immovable. Constant. True. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>And love. </b></span></div>
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Rebeccahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18175195313375782421noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7576349466389677504.post-31055755205509540672013-08-03T21:52:00.002-07:002013-08-03T22:00:52.016-07:00Where is God when it hurts?<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Where is God when it hurts?</span></i><i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">He has been there from the beginning, designing a pain system that, even in the midst of a fallen world, still bears the stamp of his genius and equips us for life on this planet.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">He transforms pain, using it to teach and strengthens us, if we allow it to turn us toward him.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">With great restraint, he watches this rebellious planet live on, in mercy allowing the human project to continue in its self-guided way.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">He lets us cry out, like Job, in loud fits of anger against him, blaming him for a world we spoiled.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">He allies himself with the poor and suffering, founding a kingdom tilted in their favor. He stoops to conquer.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">He promises supernatural help to nourish the spirit, even if our physical suffering goes unrelieved.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">He has joined us. He has hurt and bled and cried and suffered. He has dignified for all time those who suffer, by sharing their pain.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">He is with us now, ministering to us through his Spirit and through members of his body who are commissioned to bear us up and relieve our suffering for the sake of the head.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">He is waiting, gathering the armies of good. One day he will unleash them, and the world will see one last terrifying moment of suffering before the full victory is ushered in. Then, God will create for us a new, incredible world. And pain shall be no more. </span></i></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I finished Philip Yancey's book, Where is God when it hurts?, as we flew over Los Angeles. I would without a doubt recommend this book to anyone. It covers the hard questions, working through how Christianity answers them not with a solution to pain but rather the answer of who. Changing our focus from ourselves and our own pain, changing our focus from the why of pain and redirecting our gaze to the King who loves us and also knows suffering first hand. </span><br>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Changing the question from why to who is a life changing and extremely powerful question. I wrote more I about this and Britt Merrick's sermon, When Sparrows Fall, in a post. ( <a href="http://lifebeyondthewindow.blogspot.com/2013/05/when-sparrows-falland-soar.html" target="_blank">Click here to read</a> more)</span><br>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Trying to answer unanswerable questions, like 'why me?' become 'who is with me? who has been here before and understands?' </span><br>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">When my eyes move from me to Him, it changed everything. </span><br>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Everything is seen with different eyes. I am comforted by the one who suffered far worse for me. He knows pain and sorrow and even asked God to take it away. <b>Seeing that, that Christ the perfect son, asked God to take about His cup, if it is His will, that gives me hope. Suffering isn't about it's joy but rather growing closer to God - even when it is through desperate cries for help and another way. </b></span><br>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So where is God when it hurts?</span><br>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br></span>
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<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; line-height: 24px;"><i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Where is God when it hurts? He is in us - not in the things that hurt - helping to transform bad into good. We can safely say that God can bring good out of evil; we cannot say that God brings about the evil in hopes of producing good. </span></i></span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">His is not there in the sickness or trial, <b>He is there in YOU</b>. No matter how bad it may be, He is with you and holds to His promise to bring good to those who love Him. He is there and always will be. </span><br>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> He knows suffering. Knows loneliness. He knows what it is going through the desert valley. <b>But He chooses to come because of us and walk with us in those times so that we may not be alone. So that we can make it through. So that hope can be found. So that He can be found in stronger ways. </b></span><br>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Sure He is powerful enough to stop it, to heal you, to bring you out of suffering, but sometimes we focus too much on that end goal or accomplishment. We want to be free of the pain and lack to see the growth that occurs in the journey to being healed. We want these different things gone, but somehow in the process of living in times of suffering, our souls grow and change in us, making us closer into the true people God designed us to be. </span><br>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><br></i></span>
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<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); line-height: 24px;"><i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">In some ways it would be easier for God to step in, to have faith for us, to help us in extraordinary ways. But he has instead chosen to stand before us, arms extended, while he asks us to walk, to participate in our own soul-making. That process always involves struggle, and often involves suffering. </span></i></span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">(Another good and powerful read.... I hope to soon get my Resources page filled with books that have changed my life and could change yours as well. I hope to do that soon and hope you get a change to pick up this book!)</span><br>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Blessings,</span><br>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Xo</span>Rebeccahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18175195313375782421noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7576349466389677504.post-72545478421643921892013-08-02T10:51:00.000-07:002013-08-02T10:51:30.657-07:00Really Living and Loving Life - Because of the Waiting<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Arizona was amazing. Absolutely wonderful.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I felt like I was becoming more and more like me again. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Accomplishing "firsts" since being sick. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Really living and loving life. </span><br />
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The drive from Vegas to Lake Powell was incredible and awe inspiring. As we drove through Zion Park, my breath was literally taken away. Everywhere I looked, I saw the paint strokes of our Creator. His beauty. His creativity. His wonder. And His glory. </span><br />
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The trip continued this way. Marvelling in wonder of our awesome God. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I saw Him everywhere. He face shone bright with the sun hitting the high canyon walls. Reflecting like dancing diamonds on the lake surface. In the arch of Rainbow Bridge. In the wonderful hot summer sun wrapping around my body like a hug. In the midnight stars shining with all there might not disturbed by any air or light pollution. In the shooting stars that filled me with joy. In splashing water onto my face from jet ski rides. In the laughter and making of new friends. And in the quiet times of sitting on a rock and reading His truth about me and all He has made. About the dreams He has placed in each of our hearts and how it is time to act on those dreams. </span><br />
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<b>For such a time as this. </b></span><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It is time to pursue what He has placed on my heart. </span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Not to wait for the next great thing, but to actively pursue Him, His glory, and the passions He has placed on my heart</b>. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br />
November to July marked the biggest time of waiting in my life. Not necessarily because of the expanse of time but rather because that is what I was told to do. Basically wait and see. Wait and see what comes. How things change. If this or that will help. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My focus became on the unknown and waiting in that. Nothing was for sure anymore. My degree seemed forever out of reach. Some friendships dwindled. Church going was no longer an easy option. Simply going for a walk felt impossible. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But you know,<b> I was focusing on the gifts instead of the Giver</b>. <b><i>I was waiting and hoping in health and healing instead of waiting and hoping in The Lord. </i></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br />
While on Lake Powell, I read a book by <a href="http://holleygerth.com/" target="_blank">Holley Gerth</a> called "You're Made for a God-Sized Dream". It was filled with truth and pushed me to really dream. To dream without the limitations of health. To dream the dream that God has placed on my heart. But more than just dream it, seriously pursue it. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>My heart absorbed her words filled with His truth. I couldn't stop reading. I felt fuller. More joy. More peace for the future. More loved. More the me I was created to be.</b></span><br />
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After reading Holley's book, I started reading <a href="http://goinswriter.com/" target="_blank">Jeff Goins</a>' brand new book, "The In-Between". </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It was a perfect transition. For my heart was fired up and now I am gaining even more perspective. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">More perspective on my time of waiting and how it has led me to where I am today. More perspective one what God was teaching me, how He was growing me, and how I am more me than ever before - <b>all because of the waiting. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">His book relates to my life in such tangible nd crazy ways. Ways I never would have imagined possible only one year ago. Sure, we all wait. There is always something to wait for. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But never before had I considered such a period of time in my life as a time of waiting. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Waiting for something. Any kind of answer. Even if it was a bad one. I just wanted to know what was going on and how I could help myself heal. I wanted God to intervene quick. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And considering the course of many with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, He intervened very quickly. And for that I am so grateful. And totally blessed. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">He has used the time of waiting as a huge gift. One that has blessed me immensely and changed my perspective, my hopes, and my goals. It has taught me so much but I will not stop singing and praising Him for His healing hand!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I will leave you with a quote from "The In-Between". And once I am finished I am sure I will have many more to share! (<a href="http://goinswriter.com/inbetween/" target="_blank">Click here</a> to read more from Jeff on "The In-Between")</span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">“Waiting is the great grace. It’s a subtle sign for those with eyes to see, reminding us there is work yet to be done—not just around us, but in us. We are still in progress, unfinished masterpieces full of incompletion. And although I know this, I resist it. For the fruit of waiting—the outcome, the resulting growth—I am grateful. But for the process—the part that causes the growth—I am not. Waiting is hard. It forces us to acknowledge our imperfections, our own unfinishedness. It is the long ride home; the journey, not the destination. We see the shore but have not arrived. This is why we hate to wait, why we feel taunted by these delays and slow-downs. They force us to rely on patience and faith to fill the gap between where we are and want to be.”</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Jeff Goins</span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Love and blessings. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Xo</span></div>
Rebeccahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18175195313375782421noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7576349466389677504.post-79330948765922197162013-07-27T08:42:00.002-07:002013-08-03T22:02:33.587-07:00Through the clouds<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Being In the grey cloud took on a more weighty meaning today as we flew from Los Angeles to Las Vegas. The sky became dark. Light barely able to peak through. The pilot voice comes on overhead warning not to get up as it could get a "little bumpy". With little light insight, the desert below barely visible, and little certainty that the ride will be smooth, I couldn't help but realize how this was my life not too long ago. The ride which I assumed to be smooth with clear views, quickly became fogged up and the ride bumpy with no end in sight. No certainty of when light would break through. </span></span><br>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">When there would be a break through.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">When I could break through. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Out of the dark cloud blocking my vision. Filling me with doubt and despair. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And the ground that I could see was desert. Dry and wasted, I felt helpless. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But then the beauty came even in the dark and bumpy dry lands of my life. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Break through did come. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Healing came. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">He came. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicKTwFN5Saf6NAWTA_hGl8hhet8Jt-JX9gAKYBWuXTmJdTkm8K7PorSMUJ4buvyPBh77_3R9QpObvvK1fjLNKYYK1mKKDE9ZjQj0iiKM9kRSkPUD_ScxW42J_-htlplrpQwa9PW-oXwyU/s1600/IMG_0550.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicKTwFN5Saf6NAWTA_hGl8hhet8Jt-JX9gAKYBWuXTmJdTkm8K7PorSMUJ4buvyPBh77_3R9QpObvvK1fjLNKYYK1mKKDE9ZjQj0iiKM9kRSkPUD_ScxW42J_-htlplrpQwa9PW-oXwyU/s320/IMG_0550.JPG" width="320"></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">He met me in my suffering and promised to hold me regardless of how bumpy it would be. He said He would never leave. Even if the wilderness was all I could see. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">He came. He promised one day there would be redemption and restoration.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And until that day, He wouldn't leave. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">He gave me hope. I could hope again knowing the future. Knowing that one day I would regain strength and be able to live abundantly with Him. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But He also made me realize that regardless of when the complete physical breakthrough would come, I could spiritually live life fuller than ever before. That I could live a life of joy and love no matter what. And that He would hold me up even if I got weaker. He would hold me. Come along for the bumpy ride. He wouldn't leave out of fear or disgust of the uncertain wilderness ride, but would continue to embrace me. And in embracing me, be there for the bumpy ride amid the grey clouds. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">He would take on the suffering so He could be with me. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">He would take on the ultimate suffering so that I could come before Him. Cry out to Him. And be held. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Held with hope. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Held with love.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Held with joy. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Be healed with hope. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Healed with love.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>And healed with joy. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>I am currently sitting in the Bellagio before we leave for a drive to Arizona for a house boating adventure! Praise God I could walk right past the wheelchairs in the airport and just continue walking through some of the amazing different hotels here! I will write as soon as I can again. Blessings and love. </i></span><br>
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Rebeccahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18175195313375782421noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7576349466389677504.post-87130292505976655012013-07-25T21:45:00.002-07:002013-08-03T22:00:34.363-07:00Love what you do...<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. </span></i></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I read these words of Steve Jobs in the <a href="http://www.integrativenutrition.com/">Institute for Integrative Nutrition</a>'s catalogue that arrived in the mail today. </span><br>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And excitement floods my heart. </span><br>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiobGuZ__4VAunJWolazlE7WVwgScHShxlghH6HIms8PjNKudqP68-niQM4ZzWX8xLeNIxBBPhs_InbgzIZXCDx1GXlbr2XQjzkA5Ql_JeiObq4sPv6YQnYh-oL3wJrypxCTRb8spKEszA/s1600/IMG_0535.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiobGuZ__4VAunJWolazlE7WVwgScHShxlghH6HIms8PjNKudqP68-niQM4ZzWX8xLeNIxBBPhs_InbgzIZXCDx1GXlbr2XQjzkA5Ql_JeiObq4sPv6YQnYh-oL3wJrypxCTRb8spKEszA/s320/IMG_0535.JPG" width="320"></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I cannot wait to start this course in nutrition, health coaching, and business! Talking with my health coach, <a href="http://fuelurbanwellness.com/">Amanda Daley</a>, has forever impacted my life. She has helped me transform destructive mind patterns I did not even realize I was stuck in, helped me seek joy and pleasure in life, and believed in the power for me to heal. I have been so blessed to be able to work with her. She truly has become a best friend and cheerleader for me during this time of suffering through chronic fatigue syndrome. After three sessions with Amanda, my health totally turned a corner and I am the me I was created to be again. I am loving life and excited about today and the future. I am creating again. I am closer to God and seeking His face. And I don't believe this is all from the talks I have had with Amanda but I do believe it was a big part of my healing!</span><br>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I am so excited to gain training in these areas and cannot wait to see how God will work through this course - in my continued healing and also in using my story to help others. My dream is to share my story and how faith and gratitude were two of the biggest things that brought me on my journey of healing. </span><br>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My passion is for people to know Him who saves and live fully true and joyous healthy lives. </span><br>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Where this will lead me I don't know. I haven't abandoned my nursing goals but have rather put them on hold. Currently I plan to go back in Fall 2014 to finish off my degree but as I have learned from this time of being sick, I am going to take one day at a time and see where God leads me.</span><br>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>I pray that I will have open ears to hear Him, open hands able to let go and be filled with His guidance, love, and joy, and feet willing to go where He prompts. </i></span><br>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>And I pray that for you too.</i></span><br>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><br></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>I pray you would find that thing you love if you haven't already and that with His help be great doing whatever it may be!</i></span>Rebeccahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18175195313375782421noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7576349466389677504.post-74513643552551710382013-07-24T12:32:00.001-07:002013-08-03T22:00:22.643-07:00True North<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This feeling of redirection and restoration will not leave my heart. Nor do I want it to. </span><br>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I want to point North. To the True North. I want my life to keep following Truth and His direction. But what does that look like? How can I be further drawn? How can I further gravitate to all that is True?</span><br>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I want to point North. Go North to Him. Reposition my life so I am pulled to Him instead of pain stakingly try and change course with myself as captain. I want Him to pull me. To direct my life. And I know it isn't the easier way but it is the True way. And from that I cannot let go. </span><br>
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<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My desire is to grow more spiritually. To seek His face. To live life with hands open. </span></b><br>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I want to develop a daily practice that focuses on Him. That redirects my thoughts to the positive, to graditude, to love - to Him. To meditate on Him day and night as the Psalmist says. </span><br>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);"><i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law <b>he meditates day and night</b>. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers. (Psalm 1:1-3; emphasis mine)</span></i></span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Now that I am getting physically stronger and healthier, (I went swimming this morning!!), I am thinking more and more about health. <i>How to stay healthy.</i> And the more I think about it, the more I feel drawn to this idea of the True North. Redirecting there. <b>Stopping and refocusing on Him and His glory. In His direction, not my own. </b></span><br>
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<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Out of the north comes golden splendor; God is clothed with awesome majesty. (Job 37:22)</span></i></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">One of the most profound lessons I have learned during my health battles is also the simplest. </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> </span><br>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>Be still & Rest</b></span><br>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">In this crazy world we live in, taking time out to do nothing seems absurd. Something I couldn't, or maybe more accurately, wouldn't do before. But this time has been a gift. A gift of ensured rest. </span><br>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I was forced to stop. Forced to breathe. Forced into a time of reviewing my life, my health, my beliefs. And although forced is a harsh word, I so believe I needed to be held down to learn these important things. </span><br>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And now, the slow morning filled with devotions, prayer, healthy food, and time to get ready, help fuel my day. Without my daily practice, my day seems scattered and I find it hard to come back to center. Back to Him. </span><br>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">At night I still work on my graditude journal (I have gotten in a bit of a habit of forgetting my journal downstairs and not going to get it once I am bed.. So trying to fix that as I so prefer writing out my day than typing it into a Note on my iPhone!). But I don't have as much of a routine for my evenings. </span><br>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Or really thorough out the day. </span><br>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Graditude is something that has definitely changed my life.</b> And writing a graditude journal in the evening and opened my eyes to seeking joy and being grateful throughout my whole day. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Honestly, I think this is <i>one of the keys that changed my life</i>. But I will write more on that specifically another time. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So now I am beginning a bit of a journey on exploring this. Exploring daily practice - physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. </span><br>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Exploring how I can connect stronger to True North in everything. Seeking Him and be centred in Him throughout the day. </span><br>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So I am reading and looking into the practice of others. Praying and seeking what this will look like for me. </span><br>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And one of the big things is meditation. It has been something on my mind for a long time. The Bible so often talks of meditating on The Lord and His word. But what does that look like? The last couple days I have been reading a lot about it. Reading about conflicts between some meditation and Christianity. Reading pros and cons to some of the different practices. And you know, I am honestly kind of unsure where I stand with it all. </span><br>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The more I read the more I get pulled one way and then another. </span><br>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So meditation... That is what I am looking into more these days and if anyone has any opinions on it, what they do, or what they believe about it - please do share. I would love to hear about it as I try and figure out what meditating looks like in my life. </span><br>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>And what my daily practices will become - incorporating rest and being still in Him. Finding the True North - finding</b></span><b style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> Him in it all throughout every day. </b><br>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>On the glorious splendor of your majesty, and on your wondrous works, I will meditate. (Psalm 145:5)</i></span></blockquote>
Rebeccahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18175195313375782421noreply@blogger.com0