Trust in Me

The farther you roam along paths of unbelief, the harder it is to remember that I am with you.  Anxious thoughts branch off in all directions, taking you further and further from awareness of My Presence.  You need to voice your trust in me  frequently.  This simple act of faith will keep you walking along straight paths with Me.  Trust in Me with all your heart, and I will make your paths straight. 

I read this in yesterday's Jesus Calling entry.  And it hit me. Hit me hard. I have a secret to share.  One that I have only voiced with few. A secret that I am scared to share. 

I am scared of the possibility of what may come. This question full of lies and pungent doubt creeps into my mind, "what if I am not healed?"It continues if I let it. And it wraps around my brain constricting my joy. 
What if I am just in remission?  Chronic Fatigue syndrome doesn't just last 9 months... What if it will come back?  What if I hit November 11th (Click here to read about that day I will always remember) ...And my body decides to remember what happened that day and after that far too literally.  What if I am not healed?


Trust.  Trust in Me. 

These words are not just whispered but seem to be shouting out at me today as I sit by the river and rest in Him.  Look to Him.  Seek His beautiful face. And as I do these things, His voice - the voice of truth - stands out among the rest. 

Trust. Trust in Me. 

And so I sit in repentance and praise this morning.  Holding open my hands and my heart.  Opening my eyes to cry.  To look up.  And to fix my gaze upon Him again. My God who is always with me.  Who never leaves nor forsakes me. And promises to give me a hope and a future. 
So today is a day of redirection.  Refocus. Re-trusting. And of resting in that faithful pursuing love that holds me now and forever.  That I can trust and hold onto without fear.