Love what you do...

Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work.  And the only way to do great work is to love what you do.  If you haven't found it yet, keep looking.  Don't settle. 

I read these words of Steve Jobs in the Institute for Integrative Nutrition's catalogue that arrived in the mail today.  
And excitement floods my heart. 

I cannot wait to start this course in nutrition, health coaching, and business!  Talking with my health coach, Amanda Daley, has forever impacted my life.  She has helped me transform destructive mind patterns I did not even realize I was stuck in, helped me seek joy and pleasure in life, and believed in the power for me to heal.  I have been so blessed to be able to work with her.  She truly has become a best friend and cheerleader for me during this time of suffering through chronic fatigue syndrome.  After three sessions with Amanda, my health totally turned a corner and I am the me I was created to be again.  I am loving life and excited about today and the future.  I am creating again.  I am closer to God and seeking His face.  And I don't believe this is all from the talks I have had with Amanda but I do believe it was a big part of my healing!
I am so excited to gain training in these areas and cannot wait to see how God will work through this course - in my continued healing and also in using my story to help others.  My dream is to share my story and how faith and gratitude were two of the biggest things that brought me on my journey of healing.  
My passion is for people to know Him who saves and live fully true and joyous healthy lives.  
Where this will lead me I don't know. I haven't abandoned my nursing goals but have rather put them on hold.  Currently I plan to go back in Fall 2014 to finish off my degree but as I have learned from this time of being sick, I am going to take one day at a time and see where God leads me.
I pray that I will have open ears to hear Him, open hands able to let go and be filled with His guidance, love, and joy, and feet willing to go where He prompts.  
And I pray that for you too.

I pray you would find that thing you love if you haven't already and that with His help be great doing whatever it may be!

My Wonderful Mom

My mom is incredible.
And it is her birthday.
Her big 5-0.
But like one of her birthday cards said, "It's like getting 5 perfect 10s from the judging panel!"

She is beautiful.  Kind.  Caring.  Strong.  A disciple of the Lord.
Passionate.  Giving.  Wonderful.

She has done so much for me.  I truly believe if it weren't for her I wouldn't be feeling as good as I am now.
She has stuck by me and with me through the worst.  She has never failed to bring me wherever I need to go.  She has booked endless appointments and fought to find an answer to help me. She has always supported me and encouraged me to do what I love and make a difference in this world.

She is tender yet strong.
And I have learned so much from her.

She has never judged me or doubted the way I was feeling.  She never tried to convince me not to go on antidepressants or sleeping pills because of the stigmas attached to them.  She has always valued my opinion about what I feel is best.  She has pushed me to do more while still helping me with everything that was needed.

And today is her birthday and though it marks a big milestone I believe the milestones are just going to get bigger and better and she continues in this life.  As she walks closer and closer to The Lord.  As she gains knowledge to be a health coach and give to others - yes she is going back to school with ME! Read more about it in my latest post.  As she goes to Guatemala and sees the lives she has impacted (her wish was that everyone would donate to the Seeds of Tomorrow project instead of give her gifts!)
Watch this short video to see more about this amazing project that my dad imagined and has partnered with others to make possible!

She is amazing and I wish you could all meet her.
She is my mom and I cannot imagine life without her quiet and beautiful spirit.

My Dad

I really wanted to get this post out yesterday with it being Father's Day and all but that just did not end up happening.  Sorry Dad!
But you know, I am okay with that and I hope you are too!

Yesterday was a good but exhausting day.  I think most people, especially those with Chronic Fatigue, would agree that the 'special' days are more tiring.  More to do, more people, more food, more things.
Those kind of days give me a bit of anxiety.  I worry about if I will be able to do the things planned (ie. eat lunch on the patio with the extended family).  I even worry about trying to be more like me.  Or at least the me that used to be.
But regardless of the worry and anxiety that inevitably comes with 'bigger' days, I was so glad to be able to honor my dad yesterday.  And go to church with him after so many weeks without being able to go.  I think God gave me an extra dose of strength that morning so I could go with him.  It was special.  Especially because a couple weeks before he shared my story in front of the church along with the song worn.  My song and story (you can read more about it and listen to this song on my post Worn).  Everyone was so caring and said how amazingly he did.   How much he loved me and cared for me.  It was a huge comfort and I am glad I was able to spend Father's Day with him in that way. 

He has been a rock for me during this testing time.  A shoulder to cry on.  A ear that is always willing to listen - even when I don't seem to make sense or ask questions that don't really matter.  An arm always ready to embrace.
He pushes and challenges me but also accepts me.  He longs to see me better but he doesn't pretend that I am better or that I should try and be better. 
He is funny and weird, which makes me laugh. 
I always ask him to give me foot massages as my feet are cold and I know that his warm touch, even if it isn't the best massage, will warm my feet and my heart.
He can be opinionated and isn't afraid to speak his mind but you know that he will always be honest with you.  Whether it is about the vitamins that he thinks are useless or the fact that he loves you.  You know he means it - always.

He is my hero.

My friend.

My joker.

My support.

My father.

He is a world changer.
An adventure seeker.
Risk taker.
And God lover.
And has taught me to be the same. 

He has put the standard high for the kind of husband, father, and friend I hope to marry one day.  For he is generous, loving, funny, trust worthy, accepting, understanding, passionate, and not okay with just being but rather seeks to live to the fullest.

I am proud to say he is my dad for so many reasons.

I respect who he is and what he has done.

He thinks of others before himself.

He does things that he knows will uplift my spirit and always makes me feel loved. No matter what I can do or cannot do.  No matter what, he loves me.  And because of that I am blessed. 

Because of Mom

Beyond the window, a family grows.  A family learns to stick together.  To follow mom's lead.  To have fun and live a little.  To come when called.  They learn to survive in this big world.  I watch this family beyond my window and think of how amazing life truly is, how fragile it is, how beautiful it is, and how full of adventure it is.  I keep watching them and realize something.  I realize it is because of mom.

It is because of mom that all nine of her prized ducklings remain.  It is because of mom's protection and wisdom that no hawk or eagle have swooped in - though some have definitely tried.  It is because of mom that the nine have learned all that they know.  The nine can have full tummies because of mom.  The nine can play games and chase each other in the shallow because mom led them there.  The nine learn other ducks do not care and caress as mom - simply because they are not mom.  The nine are nurtured, loved, and protected because of mom. 

I too have been nurtured, loved, and protected because of mom.  I could come back to mom sick.  I could come back to mom worn.  And now when I am too slow, too tired, too weak, too sick, mom holds me.  Mom gives up her needs because I have needs.  Mom stops her journey and joins mine.  Mom never stops loving, helping, holding.
And though we are different, we are forever united.  Though the life giving cord was clipped between the two of us almost twenty two years ago, mom continues to nourish me, comfort me, protect me, and guide me.  Mom has been through endless health care appointments with me.  Mom has been through every new symptom with me.  Mom has been through frustration, depression, and anger with me.  Mom has been through it all and has not left my side.  

Like the ducks, she pulls me under her wing.  She quietly holds me, fiercely protects me, constantly helps me.  

She is my mom and no one else can take her place. 

Photo credit: #1 (I tried taking photos from bed of my duck family but no luck...)