I don't really even know where to begin. In my post on Sunday, Two Fingers - An Update of Sorts, I mentioned I have been feeling better and been able to do more... Well that trend is continuing!!! Praise The Lord! It has really been incredible. I feel like me again. And people have commented saying I look like a new person.
I believe God's healing powers have been at work in my body. In my page, About CFS/ME, I have a list of my symptoms... At least the symptoms I had.
I look again to this list and sit in gratitude and amazement.
My fatigue is getting so much better. I am weak but only from disuse of my body. My muscle pain is easing (and I even got calf pain because of the walking I have been able to do!). I still get muscles spasms but not near as many. My hands haven't cramped up. My post-exertional malaise is getting less and less. Headaches are barely there. My chest pain is so much better and I don't notice palpitations anymore. My orthostatic intolerance is still there but being controlled by Florinef and salt loading. My feet get cool but no where near how bad they used to be. My sensory overload is so so much better (I am currently listening to music while writing this post! The 2 main things that still bother me are water moving around me and going through the tunnel). I am sleeping deeply now (yes, I take 10 pills but at this point I don't care - I am sleeping!!). I can totally cope with being outside in the heat and don't soak my clothes with sweat like before. My brain fog is almost completely gone (just sometimes have difficulty with word finding but otherwise I can read and everything!!). I feel so much more level and am not struggling to fight depression or anxiety (thanks to peace from above and my friend Celexa).
So although I still am taking medication and having symptoms, I feel so much more like me. Like I am being pieced back together.
Back together into something better.
And you know, all those symptoms and everything that has happened since the beginning of November 2012 are apart of that. They each are a piece of what I am being made into. A piece of my journey that will always be connected to me. Connected to my story. To who I am.
I have been broken and am being rebuilt.
Rebuilt into something different than before, yet the same.
Each piece of what I have gone through is part of me. Is part of my life story.
A piece of ceramic in a huge mosaic. Each piece is something of worth and meaning. And without them, the mosaic would be incomplete. My journey wouldn't hold as true or full.
My life's artwork would be unable to tell the full story of beauty, redemption, hope, comfort, and joy.
The light would fail to shine without the darkness by it. The colours would be dull and flat instead of rich and textured.
And together, every shard of broken glass, makes something beautiful. A story that continues. A story that keeps on going.
So with faith and hope in Him, I take another step. Another step knowing the more pieces will fall into place. Into the pattern they were designed for by the Great Designer.
I am filled with the comfort of knowing He has carried me in the dark and will continue to hold me as I walk upwards with my eyes on Him - on things above.
And I am filled with peace and joy unexplainable. Expectant to see what the pattern will end up being. What the broken pieces will turn out to be.
How the broken will be complete.
How the broken will be redeemed.
And how that completion and redemption will tell a story that continues.
That wouldn't be the same without the broken.
Photo credit 1 // 2
This stairway is in San Francisco and I cannot wait for the day when I can go and climb it!
Also please do come back soon as I have some big news to tell you!