Friday, August 2, 2013

Really Living and Loving Life - Because of the Waiting

Arizona was amazing.  Absolutely wonderful.
I felt like I was becoming more and more like me again.  
Accomplishing "firsts" since being sick.  
Really living and loving life. 

The drive from Vegas to Lake Powell was incredible and awe inspiring.  As we drove through Zion Park, my breath was literally taken away.  Everywhere I looked, I saw the paint strokes of our Creator.  His beauty.  His creativity.  His wonder. And His glory. 

The trip continued this way.  Marvelling in wonder of our awesome God. 

I saw Him everywhere.  He face shone bright with the sun hitting the high canyon walls.  Reflecting like dancing diamonds on the lake surface.  In the arch of Rainbow Bridge.  In the wonderful hot summer sun wrapping around my body like a hug.  In the midnight stars shining with all there might not disturbed by any air or light pollution.  In the shooting stars that filled me with joy.  In splashing water onto my face from jet ski rides.  In the laughter and making of new friends.  And in the quiet times of sitting on a rock and reading His truth about me and all He has made.  About the dreams He has placed in each of our hearts and how it is time to act on those dreams. 

For such a time as this.  

It is time to pursue what He has placed on my heart.  
Not to wait for the next great thing, but to actively pursue Him, His glory, and the passions He has placed on my heart

November to July marked the biggest time of waiting in my life.  Not necessarily because of the expanse of time but rather because that is what I was told to do.   Basically wait and see.  Wait and see what comes.  How things change.  If this or that will help.  

My focus became on the unknown and waiting in that.  Nothing was for sure anymore.  My degree seemed forever out of reach.  Some friendships dwindled.  Church going was no longer an easy option.  Simply going for a walk felt impossible. 
But you know, I was focusing on the gifts instead of the Giver.  I was waiting and hoping in health and healing instead of waiting and hoping in The Lord. 

While on Lake Powell, I read a book by Holley Gerth called "You're Made for a God-Sized Dream". It was filled with truth and pushed me to really dream.  To dream without the limitations of health.  To dream the dream that God has placed on my heart.  But more than just dream it, seriously pursue it.  

My heart absorbed her words filled with His truth.  I couldn't stop reading.  I felt fuller.  More joy.  More peace for the future.  More loved.  More the me I was created to be.

After reading Holley's book, I started reading Jeff Goins' brand new book, "The In-Between". 

It was a perfect transition.  For my heart was fired up and now I am gaining even more perspective.  
More perspective on my time of waiting and how it has led me to where I am today.  More perspective one what God was teaching me, how He was growing me, and how I am more me than ever before - all because of the waiting. 
His book relates to my life in such tangible nd crazy ways.  Ways I never would have imagined possible only one year ago.  Sure, we all wait.  There is always something to wait for.  
But never before had I considered such a period of time in my life as a time of waiting. 
Waiting for something.  Any kind of answer.  Even if it was a bad one.  I just wanted to know what was going on and how I could help myself heal.  I wanted God to intervene quick. 
And considering the course of many with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, He intervened very quickly.  And for that I am so grateful.  And totally blessed. 
He has used the time of waiting as a huge gift.  One that has blessed me immensely and changed my perspective, my hopes, and my goals.  It has taught me so much but I will not stop singing and praising Him for His healing hand!
I will leave you with a quote from "The In-Between".  And once I am finished I am sure I will have many more to share! (Click here to read more from Jeff on "The In-Between")

“Waiting is the great grace. It’s a subtle sign for those with eyes to see, reminding us there is work yet to be done—not just around us, but in us. We are still in progress, unfinished masterpieces full of incompletion. And although I know this, I resist it. For the fruit of waiting—the outcome, the resulting growth—I am grateful. But for the process—the part that causes the growth—I am not. Waiting is hard. It forces us to acknowledge our imperfections, our own unfinishedness. It is the long ride home; the journey, not the destination. We see the shore but have not arrived. This is why we hate to wait, why we feel taunted by these delays and slow-downs. They force us to rely on patience and faith to fill the gap between where we are and want to be.”
Jeff Goins

Love and blessings. 

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