Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Just Be Still

My family has two pugs, Levi and Bailey, and they love each other.  Well at least Levi loves Bailey... Bailey tends to be pretty self-absorbed.  My mom had to take Bailey to the vet today and Levi was beside himself.  I was resting in bed and I could hear him frantically running around and crying in the kitchen.  He is going blind and because of that rarely goes on our deck as one time he fell in the pool but today he went racing on the deck, tail between his legs, looking for Bailey.  I saw this happening and I felt so sad for him.  Levi and I have a special bond as I got him when he was just a puppy.  Whenever I used to come home from being away at university, he would get so excited and stick by my side.  So seeing him so upset broke my heart a bit and made me muster up enough strength to go get him from the kitchen so he could be with me.  I knew once he got over himself, he would settle down and be happy to be with me.  As I let him out of the kitchen, he ran around the house continuing to look for Bailey.  I called him meekly and he came running back to me.  He stayed right beside the bed but continued to howl, clearly distraught.  He continued in this manner no matter how many times I pet him, told him it would be okay, said she was coming back soon and hugged him saying that I was here.  He would leave my side for a bit, run around the house again, and come back after I would call him again.  To any onlooker of this situation, they would say Levi was a mess.  He was frantic, inconsolable, crying, and going blind, and only has three legs.  And I would agree that he is a bit of a mess but that would never stop me from wanting to use the energy I had to console him, be with him, and love him.  
I realized I was kind of like him.  I too am a mess.  
I too run (figuratively... but hopefully literally again!) around in circles in a panic at times.  I think about different situations way too much.  Wondering what my doctor may tell me next or what a test result may be.  I think myself silly sometimes.  Once I found out I was going to have a head CT, I could not help but think about the brain tumor they could find or the infection they may see (thankfully neither are true as my results came back saying I have a nice and normal brain).  I wonder why things are happening to me, why I am stuck in bed, why I have been single so long, ...  All the while God is calling me, caressing me, and saying "It is going to be okay" just like I was telling Levi earlier:  "Shhhh... everything is going to be okay... just be still and wait."
Hearing that everything happens for a reason, that everything will work out, and that all happens for the good of those that love God, can be hard to swallow amidst suffering.  Amidst the times when something is taken away.  Amidst the times when life seems to fall apart.  But I began to think about how I could say those things to Levi with such confidence.  
I could say those things because I knew Bailey would be back soon.  I knew that if he just sat and stopped worrying, he could receive my love and be happy.  I knew that he was being irrational and just needed to be still and listen to my voice.
Then my eyes were opened a little more and I began to understand why God could say those things.  I know that God knows inconceivably more than I can begin to even imagine.  He knows the outcome will be good - He knows in the end good wins.  He knows I will be fine even if it means I continue to physically suffer for a time.  He knows that in heaven there truly is no more suffering or pain or tears.  He sees me now and says "Be still."
He says, "Wait on my timing, wait for me." 
In the running chaos, I too often miss His calm whispers: "I love you and have a plan for you."
"You are mine... 
Listen for my voice...
Be expectantly patient for Me...
Wait for the joy that comes when you stop, hear, and listen...
You need only to be still"


  1. Lovely. But He never said it would be easy, and after 24 years with CFS, I can tell you it isn't.

    But He is also with you when you try not to let this disease take the rest of you.

    Do what you can, learn what you have to, leave the rest to Him.

    1. Thank you for your comment and truth! Too often we forget (or I believe choose/want to omit) that truth that Christ said we will have to pick up our cross and follow him. That suffering is real and will happen to his followers.
      I rest in the truth that although He never said it would be easy, He promised He would never leave.
      It is such a comfort and the thing I hold onto through all of this.
      Also thank you for your wisdom... "Do what you can, learn what you have to, leave the rest to Him." I will keep that close to my heart. Slowly I am learning...
      Blessings, Rebecca


I would love to hear from you! Post a comment here:

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...