Sunday, June 2, 2013

Adventure and Anxiety

It seems that many of the people I know are traveling around the world to exotic and adventurous
places!  I love hearing about their adventures and looking through amazing photos of things they have done, people they have met, the culture they have been welcomed into.  It is so exciting to see but also makes my heart long for adventure.
I love culture.  I dream of traveling the world.
My sister just went to Guatemala - a country that holds a large piece of my heart. The people are so beautiful there - inside their hearts to the wonderous colours they wear.  I have been there three times and was planning to go a fourth time this summer.  It is place I feel like I am truly living. Where God is so close. Where there is such opportunity to serve and love.
Knowing my sister has flown there and other friends are around the world makes me so happy but it is also hard for me.  I long to go on those sorts of adventures. For being able to explore this vast and wonderful world.
Yet I am aware of my current limitations and realize that world wide adventure is not for me at this time.  But knowing that doesn't make it easier. My heart longs to go.  My feet long to move and bring joy, love, and an open heart and mind of learning to countries unlike my own.
And although I cannot go to places like Zambia, Isreal, Greece, or Guatemala, I can go on a bit of a smaller scale journey with my mom - although it seems like a huge journey in a weird way!
Today my mom and I are leaving for California for a week.  I am excited for a change and happy as where we are going is comfortable and known to me.  We are blessed to have place there, as my dad also has a business in California.  So the house is a place I feel comfortable going to as I know where I will be able to sleep and where I can rest and that it doesn't require doing up and down many stairs etc.
However, I am still quite anxious to go despite how blessed I am to be able go to another place that feels a bit like home.
I know I shouldn't be, but traveling just into Vancouver for an appointment is exhausting.
I am worried it is not smart to travel, that the heat will be too difficult for my body to be able to regulate itself in, that I will feel even worse.....
I know it is not helpful in any way to worry or get stuck thinking these things as I know that a change may be very refreshing and restorative for me.  That the sun and ocean breeze can be renewing.  That it can be a place of healing.
So this morning as I rest before leaving for the airport,  I try and surrender my fears.  Give my anxieties to Him who cares.
Breathe in and out. 
Relax and realign my focus. 
Move from worry to wonder of what this trip may hold. 
Move from worry to wonder of what my life may hold.

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you. (Philippians 4:4-9 ESV)


  1. I just want you to know you are in our prayers! Your life is a huge blessing to us!


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