Yet despite this, I decided to join a community of bloggers that write every week from a prompt on Lisa-Jo's blog. Lisa-Jo writes a prompt word on her blog and then whoever wants to can join in and write for five minutes about whatever that word prompts them to write about. Here's the catch - you cannot go back and edit or change it. So what is written is often raw, honest, and moving. It isn't over thought but rather it is written from the heart.
So bear with me, as I work through this weeks prompt 'Listen' and please forgive me if I am unable to follow the 'rules' exactly pertaining to time. Thank you for your graciousness and for taking the time to read this post, to listen to another part of my story.
Here we go...
Through this time of confusion, struggle, and searching for some sort of treatment, I have learned to listen. To listen to doctors, to listen to my friends, to listen to my family, to listen to myself - my heart, my mind, and most importantly my body. But even more importantly than just listening to my body through this time, I am learning to listen to God and that He listens to me.
He hears my cry. He hears my questions. He hears me at all times.
And He answers at all times.
He doesn't always answer how I would like and at times He seems deafeningly silent.
But I often realize, in those times of silence, I am asking for a specific answer and refuse to hear anything else. Or even worse, I am not listening for His still voice.
Listening requires stopping. And stopping is hard.
It is hard for a lot of reasons but I know that when I stop, when I am still, the Lord is never far.
Hear my cry, O God, listen to my prayer; from the end of the earth I call to you when my heart is faint. Lead me to the rock that is higher than I, for you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the enemy. Let me dwell in your tent forever! Let me take refuge under the shelter of your wings! Selah (Psalms 61:1-4 ESV)
But truly God has listened; he has attended to the voice of my prayer. Blessed be God, because he has not rejected my prayer or removed his steadfast love from me! (Psalms 66:19, 20 ESV)
The Psalms talk a lot about Our God who hears us and this has been such a comfort for me. My friend Kristen wrote a post, He Hears, about this too, which was very timely and reassuring.
And stop! (I did it! I wrote in 5 minutes. Good bye anxiety and please don't come back because I can do this!)
If you missed my first 'Five Minute Friday' post, Falling, you can read it here.