But you know, I am okay with that and I hope you are too!
Yesterday was a good but exhausting day. I think most people, especially those with Chronic Fatigue, would agree that the 'special' days are more tiring. More to do, more people, more food, more things.
Those kind of days give me a bit of anxiety. I worry about if I will be able to do the things planned (ie. eat lunch on the patio with the extended family). I even worry about trying to be more like me. Or at least the me that used to be.
But regardless of the worry and anxiety that inevitably comes with 'bigger' days, I was so glad to be able to honor my dad yesterday. And go to church with him after so many weeks without being able to go. I think God gave me an extra dose of strength that morning so I could go with him. It was special. Especially because a couple weeks before he shared my story in front of the church along with the song worn. My song and story (you can read more about it and listen to this song on my post Worn). Everyone was so caring and said how amazingly he did. How much he loved me and cared for me. It was a huge comfort and I am glad I was able to spend Father's Day with him in that way.
He has been a rock for me during this testing time. A shoulder to cry on. A ear that is always willing to listen - even when I don't seem to make sense or ask questions that don't really matter. An arm always ready to embrace.
He pushes and challenges me but also accepts me. He longs to see me better but he doesn't pretend that I am better or that I should try and be better.
He is funny and weird, which makes me laugh.
I always ask him to give me foot massages as my feet are cold and I know that his warm touch, even if it isn't the best massage, will warm my feet and my heart.
He can be opinionated and isn't afraid to speak his mind but you know that he will always be honest with you. Whether it is about the vitamins that he thinks are useless or the fact that he loves you. You know he means it - always.
He is my hero.
He is a world changer.
An adventure seeker.
And God lover.
And has taught me to be the same.
He has put the standard high for the kind of husband, father, and friend I hope to marry one day. For he is generous, loving, funny, trust worthy, accepting, understanding, passionate, and not okay with just being but rather seeks to live to the fullest.
I am proud to say he is my dad for so many reasons.
I respect who he is and what he has done.
He thinks of others before himself.
He does things that he knows will uplift my spirit and always makes me feel loved. No matter what I can do or cannot do. No matter what, he loves me. And because of that I am blessed.