Friday, June 14, 2013

Listen

Last Saturday I wrote my first 'Five Minute Friday'.  I didn't really follow the rules, as I was anxious about having a time limit of only five minutes to write.  With Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, I experience brain fog, hand cramping, headaches, and anxiety.  Thankfully not all the time, but the lovely combination of those symptoms (and others - click here to read more about my symptoms in a previous post).
Yet despite this, I decided to join a community of bloggers that write every week from a prompt on Lisa-Jo's blog. Lisa-Jo writes a prompt word on her blog and then whoever wants to can join in and write for five minutes about whatever that word prompts them to write about.  Here's the catch - you cannot go back and edit or change it. So what is written is often raw, honest, and moving. It isn't over thought but rather it is written from the heart.
So bear with me, as I work through this weeks prompt 'Listen' and please forgive me if I am unable to follow the 'rules' exactly pertaining to time.  Thank you for your graciousness and for taking the time to read this post, to listen to another part of my story.




Here we go...


Through this time of confusion, struggle, and searching for some sort of treatment, I have learned to listen.  To listen to doctors, to listen to my friends, to listen to my family, to listen to myself - my heart, my mind, and most importantly my body.  But even more importantly than just listening to my body through this time, I am learning to listen to God and that He listens to me.

He hears my cry.  He hears my questions.  He hears me at all times.
And He answers at all times.

He doesn't always answer how I would like and at times He seems deafeningly silent.
But I often realize, in those times of silence, I am asking for a specific answer and refuse to hear anything else.  Or even worse, I am not listening for His still voice.



Listening requires stopping.  And stopping is hard.
It is hard for a lot of reasons but I know that when I stop, when I am still, the Lord is never far.


Hear my cry, O God, listen to my prayer; from the end of the earth I call to you when my heart is faint. Lead me to the rock that is higher than I, for you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the enemy. Let me dwell in your tent forever! Let me take refuge under the shelter of your wings! Selah (Psalms 61:1-4 ESV)

But truly God has listened; he has attended to the voice of my prayer. Blessed be God, because he has not rejected my prayer or removed his steadfast love from me! (Psalms 66:19, 20 ESV)

The Psalms talk a lot about Our God who hears us and this has been such a comfort for me.  My friend Kristen wrote a post, He Hears, about this too, which was very timely and reassuring.


And stop!  (I did it! I wrote in 5 minutes. Good bye anxiety and please don't come back because I can do this!)




If you missed my first 'Five Minute Friday' post, Falling, you can read it here.


10 comments:

  1. Wonderfully written!! And within the time constraints, too! Good for you! Thank you for sharing your heart, for sharing your struggle, and for being real. May God continue to bless you as you follow along and listen to Him!

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    1. Thank you so much. Your comment is a blessing. It truly means a lot.
      Blessings,
      Xo

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  2. I loved this!! I, too, have chronic fatigue syndrome, and I totally get where you're coming from. This was my first Five Minute link up, too. Loved reading yours, and I'm so thankful He hears us!!

    ~Brenda

    P.S. I write a lot more blunt when I'm in a hurry, I found out. Ha!

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    1. Yay I am so glad you started Five Minute Fridays too! I love them and the community they build. :)
      I am sorry to hear you also have CFS. I look forward to going over to your blog and reading more of your experiences!
      Thanks for the comment!
      Xo

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  3. Beautiful. Thank you for sharing. What a gift to be learning at your age and in this season on your life the importance of how and why and when to listen to God, and having confidence that he is listening to you. And I love what you said about sometimes thinking God is not speaking, but really you are only willing to listen to the answer YOU want, instead of what else He may be saying. I can relate! Keep listening and leaning hard on the Lord!
    Blessings, Becky
    from FMF

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much Becky! It is truly such a blessing to be learning all I am, even though I am sick and have had to change a lot my plans, I wouldn't give up all that I have learned and how much closer I have grown to God for a second.
      May we continue to try to listen to Him - and listen for more than just the answers we want.
      Blessings
      Xo

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  4. Such a beautiful post. Yes, stopping enables us to hear His still small voice. I am saying a prayer for you, that God would strengthen you and heal your body. Blessings!

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    1. Thank you so very much for your comment and prayer. I am so encouraged by the community that has come around me and supported me both physically and through this blog.
      Thanks again.
      Blessings
      Xo

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